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circular logic
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Apr 29, 2005 2:33 pm
930 Views
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After three or four e-mails, can someone really be your Master?
If 1+1=2, then how can Dom+Sub=Dom's pleasure only?
If a sub is verbalizing limits, how is that topping from the bottom?
If something is published (magazine, e-zine, paper, internet) does it then become fact?
If all you're interested in discussing is sex, then how is that a complete relationship?
Do you REALLY believe in karma if all you can do is play head games?
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Evolution of a profile
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Apr 28, 2005 5:45 pm
922 Views
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I recently posted a question asking how important answering (and how to answer) the "Your Education" field on my profile. (I'm not going to paste a copy of the question here. There's no need to repeat it! lol)
One couple (2Bkinkie) made a very good point about the number of questions still unaswered. This blog is an explanation of why that is. (In other words, this isn't a short one!)
I originally joined this site several years ago. Unfortunately, it was shortly after I had terminated a relationship that had destroyed my self image, self esteem and self confidence. (Now, I'm not saying that he is entirely to blame. I allowed this to happen.) I was very honest on my profile and filled out every single question, form and survey that I could. I started receiving e-mails, began communicating with a couple of Dom's, got very scared by my own reactions to some of the topics, and decided that this wasn't for me.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I hadn't forgotten about my initial foray into this life style and decided I should gather up every scrap of courage I could muster and try again. This time, though, I wanted to go much slower and take some time to look around. I've spent the last few months reading Advice Lines, reading articles in the Magazine, reading the blogs of women who wrote responses that resonated with me and doing a lot of self evaluation. Who am I? What do I want? What do I WANT to do? What do I NOT want to do? What characteristics am I looking for in a Dom? What characteristics am I looking for in a partner? Can the two meet? 
Since I knew from the start that I was not going to rush into anything again, I didn't bother to fill out any more of my profile than I absolutely had to. I did answer the smoking question because that has been a "deal breaker" before, even though I've always been honest about it. I think my original profile had an introduction that was "not certain....", the introduction text said, "I'm not really certain I should be here, but I have enough fantasies of this life style that I want to learn more." To describe what I was looking for, I think it was a very wimpy, sappy "Someone who will be both my teacher and my partner." Boring, hunh?? It didn't really matter to me what my profile did or didn't say at that time, as I was on a mission! I had every intention of learning all that I could this time to equip myself for this adventure.
Believe me, I was amazed that anyone would respond to such a lame profile, but I actually received an e-mail the next day! lol Fortunately, it was from a really great Dom who was willing to spend a good amount of time IM'ing and e-mailing me questions I should be asking myself, questions I should ask a prospective Dom, tips on dealing with wannabe Doms and general advice. When I finally screwed up enough courage to ask him why he had contacted me, he said it was because of my name. He wanted to know why a new member would be wistful. (I never thought of that when I chose it!)
OK. I'll admit it. I find it outrageously funny that I've received more e-mails based on the "wimpy" profile than I have on the one I am currently working on!
This brings us to fairly recent history. Last month I was reading the Advice Lines and ran into some very interesting posts. I don't remember exactly who said it or what the exact words were, but the basis of the post was this: put EXACTLY what you want in your profile, make your limits very clear, start a blog, join a group, PARTICIPATE! It reverberated in a way that surprised me. Maybe I was ready to start looking for Him rather than continuing to do research. Maybe it was time to put on the "brave" face and put myself out there again.
Since this story is getting very long, I'll speed up the remainder. I worked on the introduction title, introduction and what I was looking for to start with. That only took me two or three weeks to put into words I felt were reflective of who I am. I looked at the Personal Information section and immediately got stuck with the first question. (I didn't even look at any of the other questions that weren't completed. Didn't think of it! lol) Hence, the question to the community.
Thanks to everyone who responded!
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stream of consciousness
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Apr 28, 2005 4:47 am
857 Views
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You know, I just frigging HATE it when I don't (or can't) seem to leave work issues at work. Had a major blow up yesterday. Had to go to the other building and stopped by W's desk. As we were chatting, she passed along a comment made by a member of the I team. Then, I see an open e-mail on her computer screen that has my name mentioned. Rudely, I grab her mouse and start scrolling to read the total e-mail. Another series of remarks about me, trivializing the work I do. And who is sending this e-mail around? Members of the I team! Talk about pissing me off! (Yes, I know. If I had minded my own business and not been nosy, I never would have known. That's a WHOLE different topic!)
I had to get out of the building before I started saying things that would let everyone know I was pissed off. As I stalked out the door, W called my name several times, but I just ignored it. As I stormed back across the parking lot, muttering every single derogatory thought that came to mind about the I team, I only got angrier and angrier. My first inclination was to get in my car and just go home. OK. BIG deep breath. I am a professional. I will act professionally. I will go into E's office, close the door, place this information in front of him and ask for some sane, calming influence. Thank God E was there! He actually helped me get calm enough and focused enough to realize that I do have some options to have this ongoing problem addressed.
I have an appointment to speak with the president of the company tomorrow morning. Now, to organize my thoughts, develop an approach to the issue that will help to resolve it once and for all, and ask for the assistance of the president in achieving that goal. Unfortunately, my brain kept working on those thoughts and arguments until 2:30 this morning. I think I'll be VERY glad to see my bed tonight....
Have to apologize to W today for walking off on her. I know she's aware that it's not her. I also know a couple of her coworkers thought it was and gave her a hard time about it before she left. I set those parties straight last night before I left, but now I feel bad for putting her in what had to be a very uncomfortable position. *sigh*
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rambling (wo)man
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Apr 27, 2005 4:32 am
920 Views
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It amazes me that it is so easy to feel as though you "know" someone in an online community such as this. You read their posts to questions, review their profile, and start to feel as though you have a personal relationship with them. Is that bad? Or is it good? There are times that I feel it is a GOOD thing. (Today is one of those days! lol) For myself, it is easier to overcome my innate shyness by participating in a community where no one can "see" me until/unless I put myself forward. I wonder if others feel that way?
That leads me to wonder if everyone wears multiple facades. I know that I do. The work "me" is demanding, assertive, in charge. While that facade works for me in my career (and many of my coworkers would be VERY surprised that they do not see the "real" me!), it is not who I really am. I think there's an old Chinese adage about all of us having six faces and three hearts. The heart part was something about the heart we show everyone, the one we show friends and family, and then the one we keep private. If anyone reading this post knows the complete adage, please feel free to post it! There may be more truth there than I originally thought....
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rambling (wo)man
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Apr 26, 2005 1:57 am
878 Views
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Another day. *sigh* Woke up tired and grumpy today, then read the postings of a couple of the women I have come to admire. If you haven't seen it, please read dayoffslave's blog of her night at work. Fantastic reminder of what is really important! A small act, something not even considered, can be so meaningful to another. A little kindness and compassion from someone (even if it's not directed at you) really CAN change the outlook on the day!
Wish My Current Mood would let you choose more than one! lol
----------->mental note to self: look for a group that is for subs seeking a mentor. I really admire the strength and self knowledge some of these women project and want more exposure to "that" type of sub!
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stream of consciousness
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Apr 25, 2005 1:52 am
868 Views
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As I was going to sleep last night, one thing that popped into my head is that I am looking for that Someone who makes me feel "safe". Safe in the circle of his arms, safe to feel vulnerable, safe in his plans for my service, safe to let all control of my body's reactions be his, safe to explore and experience the desires I have not learned to articulate. It's not an easy thing to let someone else have control, anyway. I think I may understand a bit more why it is that I feel so strongly about a long term, monogamous relationship! lol Amazing how those little thoughts pop into my head at the strangest times!
Then again, maybe this is just one of those "DUH" moments!
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Cum Toy
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Apr 24, 2005 4:23 am
921 Views
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We've been seeing each other for a while, but haven't had sex very many times. It's Friday night and we've agreed to meet at a bar to decide where to go for dinner and entertainment that night. I'm standing at the bar with a beer when you walk up behind me. I feel a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me and you lean down and softly say in my ear, "what a nice piece of ass I see here." I attempt to turn around to give you a welcoming hug, but you continue to hold me, slightly pushing your pelvis into my soft, full ass cheeks. Your strength and warmth are comfortable, so I relax back into you. Your arms shift slightly to wrap around me more. What I don't realize is that this action on your part makes my tits shift up and together slightly, giving you a glimpse of my cleavage down my shirt. We chat for a couple of minutes when the bartender approaches us to take your drink order. You casually lean forward to put one hand on the bar. This forces me to lean forward slightly and your arm that is still around me also slides up a bit. You smile at the bartender and ask him what beers they have available. You shift a bit more, as if you are trying to get a little closer to the bartender to hear what he is saying, which forces me to let more of my upper body weight rest on your arm that is around me. As the bartender is answering, you catch his eye, flick your eyes to my now exposed cleavage, look back at him and smile. He grins back and, since the bar isn't busy, leans on the bar himself to get more comfortable. I've been looking around the bar until now, totally oblivious to the show you are engineering. I happen to glance at the bartender just as he is looking at the tops of my soft, white tits. You chuckle as you feel me stiffen, knowing that I'm embarrassed, waiting to see what I do. Blushing furiously, I try to nonchalantly lean back a bit and stand up straight. Your arm tightens and you lean forward a bit more, letting me know that I am trapped and will not be allowed to stand until you wish for me to. You are looking at the bartender and grinning while you do this, so he knows that he has your permission to look as much as he likes. He doesn't bother to hide his looks any longer and the two of you draw out your conversation, enjoying my blushes and slight squirmings to be released. You finally place your order, whisper in my ear, "nice show, little one," and stand up. I'm so embarrassed that I try to move away a bit. You keep one arm around me while you slide a bar stool closer for you to sit on. You sit on the edge of it, pull me closer to you, standing between your legs so that one ass cheek is resting against your pelvis. You let your hand slide to my hip and position me, letting me know that you WILL NOT ALLOW me to regain my composure or do what I want to. Your hand now slides under my jacket and shirt, touching the bare skin of my back and waist. You softly, gently run your hand and fingers around the curve of my waist, up to the bottom of my rib cage, then back to my back and around to my waist again. The warmth of your hand and gentle circular motion is comforting and you feel me relax into it. The bartender brings your drink, smiles at you and says, "there's no charge for this one. I appreciated the show." You laugh as you see me struggling to not look at him while I blush again. He walks away and you lean down and nuzzle my neck. I gasp as I feel your goatee tickle my neck and feel your lips brush my ear. I feel you smile and know that you are enjoying this tremendously. "I know how wet you are getting from this. And I also know you KNOW I am twitching from watching you." Just when I thought I couldn't be more embarrassed! I squirm a little, recognizing the truth of your words.
Still smiling, and feeling very pleased with yourself, you reach across me to get your drink. You realize that, if you move your drink a little more to the side, you can rub your arm against my tits as you pick it up and put it down. You take a sip, put your drink down, and rest your hand against the bar as if you are fiddling with your glass. I feel the pressure of your arm against my tits, exciting me, but not touching me in the manner I wish. I reach to the bar for my beer, take a sip and put it down again. As I have moved, I have rubbed my tits against your arm, causing more excitement and wanting. You feel my nipples pop up and again lean to nuzzle my neck. As you feel me working hard to control my need to squirm and moan, you stop to whisper in my ear, "I have my nipple clamps with me. Since those nipples are poking my arm, I think they want some attention. What do you think?" I softly moan, knowing that you're really not asking for my opinion. "Your tongue and mouth would be very nice attention," I whisper back to you. "No," you say. "You tried to stop my show by standing up. You will be wearing the nipple clamps tonight. You've earned them." I can feel how pleased you are, hear the satisfaction in your voice, and feel my pussy getting wetter while my nipples get harder. "Take another drink of your beer while I decide what your punishment is for trying to move away from me." I know better than to protest, so pick up my beer and take a sip. You start to chat about other matters, telling me every couple of minutes to take another drink, and I start to relax again. The feeling of my tits sliding across your arm when I move keeps my nipples hard and arouses me more and more. You continue to let your hand roam along my bare skin, enjoying my softness. As soon as you feel that the tension is almost gone, you smile again. "I've just decided how you will be punished. You will be taking my hard cock up your ass tonight." You feel me tense up again and chuckle, knowing you have caused my pussy to spasm. "Please, I..." I start to say. "Stop!" you say, squeezing my waist with your hand. "You've already disobeyed my wishes tonight. Now, as additional punishment, you will have to BEG me to fuck your ass. Don't worry, you will be so hot and needy that you will do it, but I will not split your ass with my rock hard cock now until you beg for it! You will take me up your ass, knowing how pleasing your tightness is to me. You will not be allowed to cum until I have fully entered you, no matter how much you plead. Please feel free to continue to argue or attempt to change my mind. I will just come up with more punishments for you. You know I don't mind it and it's actually making my cock twitch again in the hopes that you will! You are nothing but a cum toy, MY cum toy, and you need to realize this."
We finish our drinks, you chatting away as if you don't feel my tension, my anxiety, about the night. You walk me to my car and, with a gentlemanly flourish, open my door and grab my back cushion from my seat. "Here, sweetie, let me help you," you say as I get into the car. I lean forward to let you place the cushion between my back and the seat. As I do, you grab my tit, catching my nipple between your thumb and finger, firmly pinching it. I stop, not understanding what it is you want. "Go ahead and sit back," you tell me, smiling in pleasure at this new set-up. I start to sit back and stop, realizing you are not allowing your hand to move back as I do. "I said to go ahead and sit back," you state very firmly. I look at you with the beginnings of fear in my eyes. I now realize that you want me to pull away, to cause myself pain, just because you enjoy seeing me doing it to myself, doing it because I can't afford any more punishments tonight. I sit back as far as I can while you increase the pressure on my nipple. I moan in pain, letting you know that you have proven, again, that I am only a toy to you. You let go of my nipple to allow me to sit completely and softly kiss my cheek. "You were such a good girl," you say, "that you don't have to wear the nipple clamps home." You enjoy my gasp and look of shock as I realize that you had other plans I would not have liked as much.
**********credit for the title goes to jon8882000
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many thanks and here i go!
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Apr 23, 2005 2:46 pm
1010 Views
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I've recently decided to make more of an effort to "get out there and meet some people!" lol I have to say that I've seen some very interesting, articulate people here, and to you go my thanks!
Oregon_Jan, dayoffslave, foulmama, I have found your writing to be witty, honest, thought provoking and want to thank you for being active participants. It's great to have women like you around!
To the many others who have put forth replies that have caused me to laugh out loud, forced me to re-think my definitions, given supportive and sound advice, kudos to you as well!
To the Doms I've spoken with, thank you for assisting me in better defining my wants and needs. There are those of you who are truly chivalrous, and that gives me hope!
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To link to this blog (WistfulWench) use [blog WistfulWench] in your messages.
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