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Oh! Where to Start ? !
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Oct 17, 2005 5:00 pm
389 Views
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I have a profile web page on yah.. and one of the links has to do with us women as being erotic. I thought about posting to find what others find erotic but I didn't want remarks that would show a trend of porn. For me, they are separate.
I find the old sketches of women posed as their back is swayed back and draped in silk and see thru to be erotic. There are some great photographers who dim the lights and show women in very feminine attire and poses to be erotic.
In my searches on the Internet I found a very good article which I wish to share. Credit is given and I hope I am not offending the writer.
"The question - What is erotic and what is pornographic? - is a very interesting one and deserves to be discussed. It is also quite a complex question. As some people believe there is a very fine line between the two , there can be no simple answer. One point of view is this: eroticism is the exploration of the feelings and emotions inspired by sex and sexuality. Pornography however, focuses entirely on the physical act - be this in writing, photography or film.
Pornographic images, for instance, tend to dwell entirely on the sex act. They are voyeuristic in nature and only involve the user in the most alienated way - as an onlooker. At best, the onlooker can project his or her fantasies onto the image but has no real control over what they are seeing. The sex act itself is staged and controlled by someone else or by the formula employed in that particular brand of pornography. Something rarely done by the people it depicts.
The above is also true of so called 'Interactive Pornography.' Here we have a predefined number of outcomes, all of which dwell on the physical act. The same applies to written pornography. The stories in pornographic magazines for instance, all use a string of 'Buzz words' to describe various parts of the anatomy and sex acts. These words and descriptions are used for the sole purpose of titillating the reader. What we read is, 'It felt so good when he did this...' as opposed to, 'It felt so good when he did this because...'
Therein lays the difference. A piece of erotic writing will try to explain or explore why something feels so good, or indeed, bad. Pornography does not. One of the key points about eroticism is that it can also uncover the darker side of sexuality. It has the ability to do this in a much more analytical way. Pornography depicts what some of us may consider a distasteful sex act and presents it in a titillating manner. Whereas eroticism can take the same sex act and question the pleasure gained from it. So in a sense, eroticism is capable of involving the reader in the making of moral judgements. Eroticism can explore a wide range of emotions and emotional responses. Fear, pain, longing, belief, love, hate, rejection, and acceptance the range is endless. Pornography - by its very nature - is incapable of doing any of this in a meaningful way.
Pornography objectifies sex and turns it into a set of categories anal, oral etc. Some people think pornography has a very clinical feel to it. They believe much of what hardcore pornography depicts resembles medical procedures.
The vast majority of porn follows a formula. It starts with a woman undressing, goes through a number of sexual positions (always the same ones, in the same order) and ends with the male orgasm. This is also true of gay pornography. Pornography which deals with so called 'fetishes' has its own formulas. Although pornography objectifies both men and women, it is interesting to note that the overwhelming body of pornography depicts women in a passive, submissive role. Where women are the dominant partner, this becomes a 'kink' or a 'fetish.' But that's another discussion.
The point is sexuality covers a wealth of human emotions and unlike pornography, erotica doesn't seek to limit these. That is not to say that eroticism is not sexually arousing. It could be argued that erotica can be more arousing because it involves and stimulates in ways that pornography cannot. Human beings are complex physical and emotional creatures. The two things are not mutually exclusive. They intertwine and make human beings what they are. In order to become aroused, a person first has to think. At this point pornography takes away any need for thought and concentrates entirely on supplying a physical need. Erotica stimulates on a mental level and allows a person to explore their own feelings.
To finish, here is an example. A researcher once carried out an experiment involving several very different images. He asked three men and three women to look at the images and describe to him what they saw. Two of the images were taken from pornographic magazines, the other two were abstract paintings by Picasso. Their descriptions of the first two images dealt entirely with the physicality. One was simply a picture of a man and woman having sex. The other was a picture of a naked woman. Although there were variations in the way the men and women reacted to this particular image, none of them went beyond the physical. The women commented on her breasts, one said she had a nice face and one wished she could be that slim. The men reacted as you might expect. All of their descriptions focused on the sex act. They projected their fantasies onto the picture. However, the Picasso paintings drew a much broader, emotional response. One of the paintings, although abstract, clearly depicts a woman masturbating. All of the subjects discussed what the woman might be thinking (something the painting hints at) and how she was feeling. They also spoke about what the artist was thinking and why he had chosen to paint the picture this way. All of the subjects found the painting arousing, considered it be erotic and used the image to express how they felt about masturbation. The last image provoked a similar response. What this experiment made clear, is how the erotic works on so many other different levels to the pornographic." By JaggedJack
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When you want to laugh
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Oct 10, 2005 5:40 pm
394 Views
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Do a word search on the internet for funnist picture.
The caption reads:
"I'm wet! I'm Tired! I'm Pissed! So don't even think about petting this pussy!"
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Is your playroom a dungeon or a far away place ?
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Oct 8, 2005 11:19 am
403 Views
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Having been to BDSM dungeons and feeling cold about the surroundings, I have wondered how many prefer a place to play that is much like a cold hard dungeon or a room that has some class or theme to it.
My home has many rooms that are setup for different scenes.
We have seen movies of a little kink being displayed in the kitchen table top or counter. Oh! and that drawer full of exciting little toys that are just waiting for attention.
Bedrooms with curtains that blow in the wind, pillows laying on the floor, candles everywhere and never forget the scents of flowers or oils burning. Even the sounds of erotic music playing as you walk in. The only thing that should be played on TV in this room are erotic movies.
Setting up a deck for privacy with candles or seasonal lights, curtains that can be drawn, tropical setting with the scent of citrus is a favorite of mine. Have the sounds of the ocean playing in the background. I love the erotic stimulation of playing without being seen. Of course you really need to watch out for the noise level there.
I have often thought that many relationships would not go stale if only they kept their rooms neat and full of visuals that are stimulating. Changing often to keep from getting bored.
Each season I like to change the mood of certain rooms. Trying to stimulate the moods and bringing out certain characters in play. I find others enjoy the change, too.
Share what really stimulates you in the surroundings of a scene. Is there a favorite?
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Well, it is finally raining today
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Oct 7, 2005 12:24 pm
408 Views
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I love the rain. I love walking when it is a soft rain and feel the little touches to my face.
Whether there is sex, reading, painting, writing, sleeping, playing soft music to the rain, it is very erotic for me.
Wonder what makes rain so erotic ?
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When is it submission vs doormate ?
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Oct 6, 2005 5:35 pm
500 Views
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You're the perfect submissive, or rather as close as one can be. You send flowers when your partner is under the weather and love letters just because. You take your partner to the airport and pick him up
at rush hour. You whip up his favorite dishes and help him balance his checkbook. You forgive him his slights and sloppy habits ... again and again. You dress the way he enjoys and start the
background for your play and you do all that your partner tells you to do ... adding even more to a heavy load of the day.
Now, he's acting disinterested, distant, even dismissive.
Is it something you did?
Some may say you "overdid it".
Submisives want to prove that they're valuable. Is this not the way a submissive is expected to be ?
But, what is the real nature of human beings?
What causes our partners to become disinchanted with us, when they knew us, choose us, molded us, and took all that we had to give ... not only emotionally, physically but financially ?
Once it was said to me, "I'm the type of woman to give and give, and people walk over me even if they don't mean to. I've learned the hard way that compromising myself into submission does nothing but ruin the relationship. So where do you draw the line? How much should you give before you say, 'Enough already'?"
I have read comments such as:
"Our D/s lifestyle still expects submissives to be the givers. And if you grew up around one-sided relationships, you may not even realize they should be two-sided. How to tell whether you're caught in the doormat trap? If, despite the fact that all your giving isn't working, your impulse is to give some more."
"If you're a giver by nature, people around you get used to it and
learn to expect it. A Dominant often won't leave this kind of one-sided relationship. Instead, he'll stay and exploit the situation.
When submissives give a lot, Dominant's get lazy. If you say, 'Hey I'll pick up the dinner on the way home from work, do all the grocery shopping and cook all the meals he starts to get really comfortable.
In the end, though, he might not choose you because he never has to work at and get invested in the relationship."
"Both of (you) hold an outside job. If you battle over household chores (you do them; he watches TV or sleeps), try encouraging a gradual transition to domestic equity. Being resentful over this issue will only cause tension and being over worked thus being tired.
What about when he is ready to play/love/sex ? You are too tired ?"
"The danger in giving too much is that the submissive expects an equal amount in return. "When that doesn't happen, it's easy to feel resentful, which makes having an openhearted connection difficult Ironically, the person on the receiving end of all that giving may
wind up feeling resentful, too. It's no fun always being the bad guy, or feeling obligated to give in return. The sense of obligation and
guilt may force him to walk away."
What are your thoughts ?
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