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What a Joker
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Jul 6, 2006 6:28 pm
671 Views
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I am working on a new book. I am trying to find as many Small Apartment jokes as I can. I have a few, like "My Apartment is so small, the mice are Hunchbacked" or "My Apartment is so small, the light goes out when I close the door".
Any other suggestions?
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DA VINCI CODE
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Jun 26, 2006 4:17 am
684 Views
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Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
*Alt won't let me post the pic here, see side pic*
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to dis! Cuss th e meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left......
It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick
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Because I can, please answer this
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Jun 16, 2006 2:06 pm
661 Views
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1. Who are you?
2. Do you have a crush on me?
3. Would you kiss me?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me, from my profile or blog?
7. What is your impression NOW?
8. If you could give me anything what would it be?
9. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
10. If so, what is it? (*grin*)
11. What is your favorite physical quality about me?
12. What do you think is my best character trait?
13. Would you consider me to be your friend?
14. If you could pick one song to describe me, what would it be?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I (and others) say about you?
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Party Time
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Jun 10, 2006 4:50 pm
629 Views
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I am going to a costume party on July 1st. The theme is "Pimps and Hos". I want to go as a "man ho", and really need some costume ideas. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated and given full consideration.
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Possible tattoo
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Jun 10, 2006 3:17 am
538 Views
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I am thinking about getting a tattoo on my back, just above my ass, of a cartoon "big bad wolf" in a purple zoot suit. Something like Jim Carrey in the Mask, or like I've seen in some old 1940's era cartoons. I'm having trouble finding pictures of what I'm looking for. Maybe someone reading this can help.
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I have to play fair
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Jun 5, 2006 7:12 pm
603 Views
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If you will leave a comment, I will try very hard to:
1. Respond with something random that I know or think I know about you.
2. I will tell you what song or movie or celebrity you remind me of.
3. I will tell you the most likely place that you and I will ever make out.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me or at the very least make something up that may give other alt people something to talk about
5. I will tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I will tell you what your name would be a good fit if you were the opposite gender.
7. I will ask you something that I have always wondered about you.
8. In order to play here you should be willing to post this yourself. So if you have one, please repost this in your Blog and......... Let the games begin ....
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I'm Happy They Took You Away, Ha-Haaa!-Josephine XV
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May 31, 2006 5:22 pm
444 Views
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Remember when I ran away
And you got on your knees
And begged me not to leave
Because you´d go berserk?
WELL...
You thought you had me fooled
But I just left you anyhow
Because I knew you were
Already out of your mind!
AND...
I´m happy they took you away, haha
I´m happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life´s hysterical all the time
And you´ll be sorry I sent
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And I´m happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!
I thought that you were nuts
And so I laughed
I laughed when you had said
That losing me would make you flip your lid
RIGHT...
It´s true, I laughed, you heared me laugh
I laughed, I laughed and laughed
And then I left
Because I know you´re utterly mad
AND...
I´m happy they took you away, haha
I'm happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the happy home
With tree and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And I´m happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!
You burned my food
You wrecked the house
And this is how I´ve paid you back
For all your cruel, unloving selfish deeds!
HAH...
They´ve got you now
And you´ll get just
What you deserve
For calling me a mutt, you mangy man!
AND...
I´m happy they took you away, haha
I´m happy they took you away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life´s hysterical all the time
And you´ll be sorry I sent
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And I´m happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And I´m happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!
To the funny farm
Where life´s hysterical all the time
And you´ll be sorry I sent
Those nice, young men
In their clean white coats
And I´m happy they took you away, HA-HAAA!
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New Ideas for a movie
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May 31, 2006 4:30 am
541 Views
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how about an x-rated version of the stories of red riding hood and the 3 pigs? here's a possible plot synopsis. I am open to suggestions.
act I
wolf, red riding hood, granny(sexy grany looks to be under 40)
wofl catches red in woods, going to granny's house. accosts her, finds out she has sex toys in basket for granny, slips off to granny's house ahead of red. tricks grany into letting him in, fucks her senseless, and locks her in closet. slips granny's nighty on, goes thru variant of "what big eyes" etc with red, then fucks her senseless, using toys from basket, then leaves
Act II
wolf, 3 pigs (lady cops), red, granny
wolf is arrested by pig 1, taken to jail made of straw (its fantasy), he breaks out and fucks pig 1. as leaving is caught by pig 2, thrown in jail of twigs, same result as pig 1, then caught by pig 3, thrown in brick jail, can't break out, chained to wall, is sexually used by all three pigs, while red and granny watch and fuck themselves
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To link to this blog (blgbadvv0lf) use [blog blgbadvv0lf] in your messages.
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