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A new to the scene Sub adds her two cents
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Feb 13, 2012 9:00 pm
2062 Views
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It wasn't too long ago that I put my first ad on alt.com. That was three months and a lifetime ago. I talked to a lot of different men, but found one that got me thinking about my life and how much I craved being dominated by someone. I needed someone nice, that wouldn't degrade me, but would lead me into uncharted territory. I guess now, looking back at it, that I got VERY lucky. I was also very picky, especially when meeting. I told a friend where I was going to try to keep it safe, but other than that, no one in my day-to-day life know about my alt side. I've come to realize that this a journey I'll be on for a long time.
When first meeting, I had no idea if I would be able to go through with it. I was lucky... my Dom was handsome, nice, hung like a freaking horse, and realized that I would do nothing without him taking a firm hand. I'm so thankful that he has. I've learned throughout this process that I crave the little things. What we have is different from any relationship I've ever been in. I enjoy being a sub. He has explored my deepest fantasies with me in such a way that makes me deeply appreciate the kind of man he is, has encouraged me to be loyal, yet open to new experiences. Currently, we're looking for another woman so that I can experience my first bisexual encounter. I want it desperately, but I also have come to realize that nothing happens that takes away his control over me. I have truly become a slave to my desire. I will do anything he (respectful of my boundaries) asks me to do... and it's not just the promise of sex. It's the control. My lack of control, to a certain extent, and his desire to control me. I've found the joy in being a sub only because my Dom has led me to that passion that has been missing in my life for twenty years. He tells me to kneel, I kneel. He tells me to lick, I lick. He tells me to take a picture for his enjoyment, I do. Occasionally, he'll punish me, and it's not always because I did something against our preset rules... sometimes it's just to reinforce that HE is the dominant, not me. I've succumbed to his dominance like a wild horse being broken. Every day, I strive to not disappoint him. Every day, I think of what my Dom would say, what he would think, how he would respond, if he would reward the behavior, notice it, or approve. I'm beginning to like this. A lot.
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