Valentine's reflection

Though times have come and gone, I wonder why we feel. With all the hype of sensual and sexual expectations, the difference between finding a friend and finding a love is hard to control. The feeling of pain isn't one I'm too fond of, even in given RPs... especially now, as I heard my best friend say we could no longer be- not because of something I've done, but because of who he's with.

Despite all the hardships of work and school and life in general, we didn't really separate too far- even if Portland and Seattle had their callings. Those who know me know I'm usually not the jealous type, nor do I tend to hold a grudge against anyone or anything... yet he crushed my heart like it was made of paper.

I think that might be the reason I came here in the first place- to escape from the reality I live and breathe... and find those that really care about me. I just need to hang on a little longer. I need help from time to time remembering that-- that I'm not alone, that I'm not obligated to do anything for anyone, that not everything is my fault. I need to find myself and make my revelation come true... All I need is that little bit of help.