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Sometimes we need a place to put our thoughts...the idea that someone might read it is somewhat strange...but then again who would read my ramblings?
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
"It has, moreover, been proven that horror, nastiness, and the frightful are what give pleasure when one fornicates. Beauty is a simple thing; ugliness is the exceptional thing. And firey imaginations, no doubt, always prefer the extraordinary thing to the simple thing."
Marquis de Sade
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I am a liar
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Dec 14, 2005 11:36 am
3171 Views
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and the worst thing is that I'm not lying to anyone else....just myself
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3
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Getting Braver
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Dec 8, 2005 11:39 pm
3458 Views
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You may not believe me...but I'm not the type of person that easily opens up to someone. I think that most of my shit should stay with me. I don't want to bring you down nor do I want you to know everything about me. I need to be guarded...
But sometimes sharing is good...sometimes you need to know things to understand me.
I realize that...it's not fair for me to wake you up every night. But I was brave...and now you now a half truth...I didn't lie...I'm just not ready for you to know it all...
Thank you for still being there today...
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One day you will find me...
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Dec 5, 2005 11:56 pm
2387 Views
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...sitting at a table in a cafe wondering what the hell I've done with my life...
...laughing at the things I've done...
...No regrets...just hoping to have done more...
...examining the fragments that people left behind...
...realizing that I really meant it when I said that I never hated anyone...
...just sitting...
...smiling and crying all at once...
...thankful...
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4
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Still alive
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Dec 1, 2005 8:06 pm
2651 Views
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I thank those that expressed concern for my absence...it meant something that someone noticed I wasn't here...
I'm just taking a break and trying to make sure that I have studied sufficiently for my finals...I really need to make the Dean's list this year....
Only a few more weeks and the semester will be over and I can breathe again...and maybe get well...sleep seems to be something that is important for heath...
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8
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This week's addiction
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Nov 17, 2005 8:07 pm
3146 Views
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Online jigsaw puzzles...
I can't stop...I should be studying...but nope...
I need therapy...
maybe a twelve step program???
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4
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Thinking
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Nov 17, 2005 1:03 am
2895 Views
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When someone says " what goes around comes around," I'm just curious...when does it come back around? If I have three fingers pointing back at me...when does my threefold come?
Please karma...don't take your time....
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3
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Deliver me
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Nov 17, 2005 12:51 am
2845 Views
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Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.
All of my life I've been in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.
Deliver me, loving and caring.
Deliver me, giving and sharing.
Deliver me, the cross that I'm bearing.
All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.
Sarah Brightman sings it...I'm not sure who wrote it...still fighting off demons of yore...need more time to heal
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thanks
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Nov 11, 2005 3:06 pm
3153 Views
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My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use deodorant! -since it causes cancer, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward a e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
I just thought that this was funny and wanted to share
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6
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...
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Nov 10, 2005 2:55 am
2960 Views
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It's funny how certain things can be triggers for memory. Something that is so innocent can bring waves of emotion as quick as a bolt of lightning...
Pictures embedded deep in the recess of memory pop up unexpectedly and then it's just a downward spiral.
We all have a moment or two that we wish we could forget...and many of us have those moments that millions of hours of therapy cannot erase or even make better...
learning to cope is helpfull, but sometimes I wish that those things would go away and never return.
I do not take any solace in the fact that I am not alone...too many...there is just too many pictures that need to be burnt...ripped up and disposed of...too many images of loss...loss of life...loss of innocence...loss of trust...loss of faith
Atleast now I know why I've been crying myself to sleep and waking up for the same reason...and I'm throwing out the rest of those candles...
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3
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Been Feeling....
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Nov 10, 2005 2:22 am
2838 Views
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stressed...but I have everything taken care of....
sad...been crying myself to sleep and i don't know why...dog won't even sleep with me
pain...because i love you but i can't stop hurting you...
guilty...because i want so much more...
tired...i could be sleeping right now though insted of writing this...
worried...it's something that i have no control over...just wish it would go away
envy...because you have what i don't...
frightened...that you...not you or you...won't leave me alone...
grossed out...what can i say ....my finger looks terrible and feels worse...and i took the cover off of it to give it some air and it was fine...and then i started typing...yeah...blood on the keyboard...yummy
lonely...
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