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What does Free2BMe mean?
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Oct 24, 2007 5:41 am
236 Views
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Since logging onto this site and creating my profile, I've been haunted by what my real goal is here. There is no question that I'm lacking the attention I deserve and need at home. I have no doubt that I don't want to uproot my family's life because I want to pursue my own agenda, as they come first.
There's been draw backs to this adventure. The biggest draw back I've discovered since starting this venture is time. I'm having a hard time fitting any kind of social life - even the general "let's meet for coffee" type of thing into my day. I knew this could be a problem when I started this but never realized how under my husband's thumb I really am until now. Since I am in no position to host, I also find a drawback in finding a location to play. Living in rural NH means that there's not a lot of "no-tell motels" in the area and certainly no places to rent a hot tub for an hour of fun. I have reservations about meeting people in their homes for the first time - guess I'm a safety freak, even on this playing level. Unfortunately, I don't have any sympathetic friends who would give me a key to their cabin. As you can imagine, this becomes frustrating. I could give in to some the rules I'm choosing to live by but I believe the consequences of my giving in would out weigh the benefits.
Additionally, I have gotten into a very "vanilla" relationship. Although it's more attention than I'm used to, I'm finding myself in a situation where I have to take charge if I want results. I'm not a terribly wild gal behind closed doors, but honestly, the three or four times a year I do get an intimate glance from my husband surpass the experience I'm having at this time. I'm sticking with it at the moment because he's very kind and I trust him. Maybe he's too kind. I tend to run over men who are too nice or too passive. Yes, I'm a pushy bitch at times but I do leave you with a smile on your face after you've put up with my shit for a while.
So, Free2BMe wants w-h-a-t?
To be free. To have more time. To have no worries about safety. To have a good time. To experience some new things. To meet some exciting people. To maybe learn some new skills. To have more color in my life. To take advantage of my sexual peak I'm starting to hit. To not worry about others' perception but to maintain my dignity outside of the bedroom or off this site. To have all this have no impact on my family or life...
I probably should have just bought some toys and be done with it... but the human element is lacking there...
Do I just want too much?
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