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 | Welcome to my blog!
I use this space to express my views on life, love, baseball, politics, and the lifestyle. I sometimes pour my feelings out here. I sometimes just express my opinions. There are pieces of me here. I am certainly not suggesting that if you read the posts here you will know me when you're done, but it will be a start. I believe the way to really get to know others is by talking and spending time together. But, I do suspect if you find me intolerable here, you will find me more so in person. I also tend to think if you are intrigued or interested in what you read here, you may be more so upon meeting me in person.
Leave comments, questions, thoughts, or observations. This is also a place in which I could get to know you a bit better. |
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Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!
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Dec 20, 2008 10:25 pm
298 Views
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After I posted my blog entry this morning, - the one with a very similar title to this one - I turned my attention to The Weather Channel. I was looking to see how the weather was clearing north of me. I found that it wasn't. They were predicting more snow, sleet, possibly freezing rain in areas I would be traveling through. And, then of course the next storm that will be moving through tomorrow. I decided it might be best if I waited and left on Monday.
Once that decision was made, there was no reason not to take advantage of my time here.
My play date was back on for today! Perfect! Well... almost perfect. Yesterday would have been perfect. Yesterday, we had time allotted. Today, we had to make the time. It was good. It was good to see him. It was good to feel all the things I felt - some of which I still feel if I move just right or sit.  I wish we had more time, but...
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Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow?
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Dec 20, 2008 3:37 am
526 Views
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Yeah, yeah. It was fine for the people in the song. They were already together with a fire and popcorn.
This was not the case for me. He was on his way here. Then, he called and said he couldn't make it due to a road closure. First of all, I'm in New England, right? Connecticut is still in New England? Or, has it been moved to the mid-Atlantic region? Road closures? WTF?
It was our last chance to see each other before I left Connecticut. We were going to have a nice long play date together. I was really excited. I like this man. I don't think that even if I had stayed in Connecticut, we would have developed a serious relationship, but I like him. And, I'm going to miss him. We have a chemistry. And, I find myself wishing we had spent more time together.
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I Know, I Know...
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Dec 18, 2008 11:16 am
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I am childish and petty.
It's a gift!!!
Christmas has come early for you all.
Merry Christmas!!!
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Slow Learner
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Dec 18, 2008 9:06 am
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I seriously don't get it. Several weeks ago I had an email exchange with a man in which he was quite rude, inconsiderate, insulting, and disrespectful. I made it clear to him - or I thought I did - that I found the things he had said to me were distasteful to me.
In spite of that, he has continued to pop in on me when I'm on webcam. Then he starts chatting with me like we're old friends. I have asked him what his deal is and he never answers me. Today, I was on alt IMC, and got an IM from him. Once again, he was acting like we are long lost friends. I was not nice. I'm tired of this guy. And I'm tired. And I have a headache. And he accused me of having a potty mouth. I don't care. Perhaps he got the point.
Regardless...
I got the last fucking word!!!
 
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Have You Ever Noticed?
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Dec 17, 2008 7:49 am
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When one person accuses another of making him look like a jerk, asshole, nimrod, etc., etc., it is usually a foregone conclusion that he has no need for any help in that endeavor.
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Long Cold Winter?
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Dec 17, 2008 2:46 am
333 Views
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Its official. Im going back home for my next assignment. Today is my last day of work here in Connecticut. At the end of the week I will be heading home for the holidays and then Ill start a new contract there after the first of the year. I have already changed my profile info to reflect my new location. I thought maybe I would look to see what might be available in small town Maine. As it turns out, it seems there isnt much men who are older than what Im looking for, men who smoke, men who are married, men who use drugs, subs, switches. Looks like it will be a very long, cold winter, but, then it had looked like a promising summer/fall in Connecticut. Things dont always turn out the way we expect.
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The Things You Learn in the Middle of the Night
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Dec 13, 2008 10:44 pm
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The ringing phone woke me.
Hello.
Hey.
Hi.
*Thinking, Big? Why is he calling me? Does he really want to talk to me? I thought he was done with this.*
D!
Yeah?
*Its not Big.*
I didnt realize how much I really miss him. I didnt realize how I miss his calls until I thought he was calling.
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Why Bother? Um
Because Its Worth It
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Dec 8, 2008 5:18 pm
372 Views
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I realized long ago that I didnt choose to be submissive or masochistic for that matter. It is simply who I am. I can look back to my childhood and see signs of the things to come in both of these parts of me.
In spite of being both submissive and masochistic I still desire and seek some components of relationships that vanilla women seek. I want a stable monogamous relationship with a man I consider a friend and who will be my life partner. I want a man with whom I share common vanilla interests. I have an acute understanding it is not an easy task to find what I seek. There are men dominants, sadists with whom I share kinks and sexual compatibility but who do not share my relationship goals or my vanilla interests. There are those who want a long term relationship but they lack the sadistic edge I seek. The list of possible incompatibilities seems almost endless at times. But, I hold onto faith that there is someone out there for me with whom I will find, and in return, offer fulfillment.
Why? Why do I make it so hard on myself? Isnt it hard enough to find another with whom you have enough compatibility to make a relationship work without throwing in S&M and D&S? Of course. But, would that make me happy? No. And having seen and experienced bits and pieces of what a real adult relationship in the context of BDSM can offer, I dont have any desire to find something less than that. It isnt easy. Most things in life worth anything rarely are. But, I think that once I find it, it will be the most fulfilling and gratifying relationship of my life. It will be worth the wait and it will be worth the effort.
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Be Careful Mr. President
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Dec 3, 2008 10:24 pm
432 Views
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Or
the slippery slope of Right of Conscience.
Our dear departing Lame Duck President has decided that he hasnt done enough damage to this country. He now wants to extend the Right of Conscience Rule that allows healthcare workers the right to refuse to participate in objectionable procedures.
This rule has been in place to allow healthcare workers an out when it comes to procedures or treatments related to abortion or birth control. Though, it is certainly not limited to that. This has been a vehicle used by those who at times find other certain procedures to be objectionable to their religious views.
Respiratory therapist: I dont believe it is right to withdraw life-sustaining care, therefore, I will not pull the breathing tube out.
Anesthesiologist: I have a moral objection to sterilization procedures so I will not provide anesthesia to the woman under going a tubal ligation.
Pharmacist: Birth control is against my religion, so I cannot fill that prescription for oral contraceptives.
These situations were the ones in which the spirit of the Rule is intended. It reeks of the right-wing, neo-con, velvet-gloved steel fist pummeling us all into submission.
The thing that bothers me about this is it can result in making circumstances difficult for people to find the healthcare services they need. And, as is usually the case when we make things restrictive, it generally has greater negative impact on members of our society who are most in need.
But how about if I go into work from now on and say, I will not take care of that 85 year-old who just had open heart surgery because I find it morally objectionable? It violates my ethics.
What if I say, I wont care for that 40-something year-old woman because, based on her disease process her mortality rate is 100%?
What if I say, It is ethically wrong to allocate healthcare resources to expensive and futile end-of-life care, treatments, and procedures with an anything is possible mentality and at the same time have insurance companies dictating what doctors we can see or which osteoporosis, blood pressure, cholesterol, or ulcer medications we they will cover?
Should I be able to refuse to care for the 99 year-old lying in the ICU on a ventilator when she had a DNR order that was rescinded by her family? Or the two year-old microcephalic child who has spent less than two months home in his entire life and has no chance of ever having a meaningful life?
I suspect these situations and the invocation of the Right of Conscience Rule in them would greatly offend those who originally penned this convenient little rule. It is not really within the intended spirit of the rule. However, I would argue it would be covered.
All of the situations I just mentioned are real. They are not isolated or the exception to the rule. These things happen every day in every hospital in this country. And, I do, indeed, find them morally objectionable. I find we in healthcare are often in breach of not only ethics, but of common courtesy and human decency. We have forgotten the Golden Rule, and the Hypocratic Oath.
Yet, I go to work and I do my job. I signed up for this. And in doing my job I try to make every attempt to make things a little better for the patient. I try to educate patients and their families. That is my job too. There are days it sucks every bit of life from me and days I walk away astounded and amazed at the resilience of the human psyche and spirit. I have days I am proud of what I do and days I walk away shaking my head thinking we treat our animals better than this.
I am not paid for my moral or ethical views. I am paid for my expertise in keeping the human body alive sometimes at all costs. I do have to say one of my proudest moments in my career was helping a man to see that his wifes stroke was catastrophic. I realized that somehow in the quiet of the midnight hour I had gotten through to him in a way that hours of daylight discussion hadnt.
He looked me in the eye and asked, Will she ever be the same as before?
I met his gaze and simply said, No.
Then why are we doing all this?
Why indeed?
I don't force my ethics and morals on others. Why is it that in the name of religion there are so many who are not only willing to give up their own rights but those of others?
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