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 | Welcome to my blog!
I use this space to express my views on life, love, baseball, politics, and the lifestyle. I sometimes pour my feelings out here. I sometimes just express my opinions. There are pieces of me here. I am certainly not suggesting that if you read the posts here you will know me when you're done, but it will be a start. I believe the way to really get to know others is by talking and spending time together. But, I do suspect if you find me intolerable here, you will find me more so in person. I also tend to think if you are intrigued or interested in what you read here, you may be more so upon meeting me in person.
Leave comments, questions, thoughts, or observations. This is also a place in which I could get to know you a bit better. |
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space between...
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May 7, 2008 7:31 am
260 Views
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you cannot quit me so quickly
is no hope in you for me
no corner you could squeeze me
but i got all the time for you love
the space between
the tears we cry
is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more
the space between
the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep us safe from the pain
but will i hold you again?
these fickle fuddled words confuse me
like will it rain today?
we waste the hours with talking, talking
these twisted games we're playing
we're strange allies
with warring hearts
what a wild-eyed beast you be
the space between
the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep us safe from the pain
but will i hold you again?
will i hold
look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster
you know you went off like the devil in the church
in the middle of a crowded room
all we can do, my love
is hope we don't take this ship down
the space between
where you smile and hide
is where you'll find me if i get to go
the space between the bullets in our firefight
is where i'll be hiding waiting for you
the rain that falls
splashed in your heart
ran like sadness down the window into your room
the space between
our wicked lies is
where we hope to keep safe from the pain
take my hand
'cause we're walking out of here
right out of here, love is all we need dear
the space between
what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding waiting for you
the space between
your heart and mind
is the space we'll fill with time
the space between
~dave matthews~
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The Apples Dont Fall Too Far From the Tree
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May 1, 2008 1:41 am
306 Views
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The other day my mom called me. I was a bit surprised because I had called her earlier that day. But, when I answered the phone she said she had a couple things to tell me one of which she couldnt do earlier because my grandson had been there and she couldnt talk about it with him there.
She began by saying, Tell me who this reminds you of. Then she went on to tell me that before he went home my grandson who is 4 - had cleared all of the cushions off the couch and lined most of them up at the bottom of the stairs. He then started up the stairs dragging another cushion with him. My mom told him not to do that because he would fall. Of course his reply was, Im not going to fall. Once he got to the top of the stairs he put the cushion down and slid down the stairs on the cushion onto the ones he had so diligently lined up at the bottom.
As she was telling me this story, I was laughing. And, as soon as she finished I immediately said, His uncle would be very proud. My brother taught my daughter how to ride a Big Wheel down the stairs when she was about 2 or 3. I reminded my mom not to let my grandson bring a Big Wheel into the house.
Mom then went on to tell me the thing she couldnt tell me earlier in the day. Apparently, a few weeks ago both of my grandsons were at my moms. She was upstairs reading and they were playing. She said she heard them playing with the phone downstairs and she called down to ask what they were doing. Of course, she got the standard answer, Nothing. She then heard the phone ring once and stop. She heard it again, at which point she decided to go she for herself what was going on. As she was heading down the stairs, D - 8 years old - the oldest started yelling, K did it. K did it, over and over again. And, K, 4, was yelling, I dont want to go to jail. I dont want to go to jail, also over and over. The phone rang again and she answered it. It was the 911 dispatcher and he asked if everything was OK. She said it was. He said he had to send an officer to check on things any way because that was their protocol.
By the time the police arrived, both of the boys were in time-out. K continued to say that he didnt want to go to jail and he was sobbing. My mom finally told him he wasnt going to jail and he stopped crying. I asked her if she clarified that he wasnt going to jail but the jury was still out on his brother? When the police officer arrived, my mom went out to talk to him and explained what happened. With a little smirk on his face he asked if the culprit was a little one dressed in red. When my mom turned around K was standing in the door looking out. She and the officer walked over to the door and she said it wasnt him it was his brother. And, there D was turned so his face was buried into the back of the couch, trying desperately to become invisible. Once the officer realized that there really was nothing wrong he left. D told my mom he wished he had never been born. He also begged her not to tell his mom. As it turned out she didnt need to. As soon as my daughter walked in that afternoon K yelled, D called 911. My daughter made D write a letter of apology to the police department and hand deliver it. He probably wont be doing that again real soon.
Now I laughed my ass off the entire time my mother was telling me this story. She kept saying, Oh, yeah, you laugh. Youre off in California, and were here having all the fun and excitement without you. Eehh
what can I say?
It actually took my mom a couple weeks before the whole story came out as to why D called 911. Apparently the two had been playing and D told K if he were to do something he would go to jail for it. K did it and D called 911 on him.
So heres the thing about this whole story. When I was about 5, I called the fire department and reported a fire at our house. There was no fire. My mom was upstairs when it happened. As soon as the sirens could be heard my brother started screaming and crying, so my mom came running downstairs to see what was wrong. My brother told on me. My dad later took me to the fire station to apologize. I know exactly how D felt when he said he wished he had never been born. That was how I felt when I had done it. My only disappointment was that I hadnt used the threat of sending my brother to jail.
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The Beauty of a Rookie No-hitter...
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Apr 28, 2008 6:56 am
299 Views
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September 1, 2007 was a history making day. Now I know most of you will say, It was? What happened? But, there are a few of you Julian who will say, Youre damn right it was. This was the date of the very first no-hitter ever thrown by a rookie in Red Sox history. The rookie was Clay Buccholz.
I remember watching this game when it was originally played. At the opening of the game, when they announced Buccholz would be pitching, I said What? Who the hell is Buccholz? What the hell are they thinking? There is a Pennant at stake. And, theyre pitching some rookie call-up? Wakefield was out with a back strain and Tavarez had pitched out of rotation the night before. Then, Jerry Remy mentioned the previous game that Buccholz had pitched in August against the Angels. Oh, thats right that is who Buccholz is. He had won that game his major league debut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought. Luck! I know the Angels were playing great ball and were having a great season. They were, I believe, the only team outside of the Sox who had held the best record in baseball at any given point that entire season. The Angels were in hot contention for a run at the World Series themselves, and Buccholz had notched his first major league win in his first major league start against them. Still, I had my doubts. Im a tough fan like most Red Sox fans. But, I sat back and watched as young Clay made his second major league start against the Orioles. I watched as the game began and this tall, gangly KID took the mound for his first game at Fenway Park. The first few innings passed. The kid was doing alright. The team was doing well. They were fielding well. And, the Sox bats were doing what they had done all season. They scored their first of 10 runs in the second inning. And, then they broke it open in the bottom of the fourth. Another rookie call-up, Brandon Moss hit a line drive single with 2 outs. Moss was playing left field for Manny who was out with a strain of his oblique. Lugo then got on base with a bunt. Pedroia then hit and out ran a throw with a slide into first. Then, Big Papi hit a bases clearing double. And to the cheers of Papi, Papi, Papi from the Fenway faithful Papi doffed his helmet from second base. A three run homer by Youkilis in the bottom of the sixth, practically ensured a win at a minimum for Buccholz.
In about the sixth inning, the whole atmosphere of the game changed. People began to notice the numbers on the board the Os had not chalked up one run or even one hit against this rookie. They gave quite a cheer for Coco Crisp as he made a very good but routine play in center field. That guy makes plays that are awe inspiring. The crowd stood and cheered as the top of the sixth ended with a strike-out. The camera shots of the dugout showed Buccholz sitting alone. Remy actually said something about no one wanting to go near him because they were afraid to ruin a good thing. The rookie looked good. He was calm. He was cool. He was in control. He threw 115 pitches that game. He struck out 9. He walked 3 and actually hit Nick Markakis. The rest of the work was done by the exceptional fielding skills of the Sox infielders and outfielders, including a play by Dustin Pedroia in the seventh inning that I think clinched his Rookie of the Year award. This game was a thing of beauty. I have watched the game a few more times I downloaded it on my I-Pod. Every time I see it, I have a new found appreciation for Buccholz, Pedroia, and, in fact, the entire team. Let us not forget that Varitek was behind the plate calling the game of his life. They ALL rookies and veterans alike - played the kind of ball that carries a team to the playoffs. It is a game I think I will never grow tired of watching.
I got to see Buccholz pitch in an exhibition game against the Dodgers a few weeks ago. I was excited about seeing him pitch. He didnt do well. I think he was pulled in the third or fourth inning. I applauded for him as he left the field. Bob pointed out that I was the only one doing so. I said, I know and I dont care. Buccholz is young. Hes going to have good games and bad. Every game cant be a no-hitter. And, its a tough act to follow. It has to be difficult to set the bar so high. There is nowhere to go but down. I think the kid has some real talent. I also think he has some nerves and jitters to work through. He seems to be shaking some of those now as we near the end of April. I have high hopes for him this season. He wont be a 20 game winner, but I dont think 15-18 is out of the question. The kid is good. And, there is plenty of support for him in the organization. From Theo and Tito at the top to Varitek and Schilling in the ranks, he has guidance and leadership. This kid has great potential and I suspect we will see much of him in seasons to come. No matter what he does from here, though, we will all remember his second outing in a Red Sox uniform.
~pic from wiki~
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Millar on Manny
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Apr 25, 2008 4:14 pm
332 Views
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Or
more baseball talk
While browsing through online baseball articles tonight I came across one entitled, Inside Mannys Circle. It was Kevin Millars views on Manny Ramirez as he nears his 500th homerun. Many baseball fans outside of Red Sox fans dont understand our attraction for and love of Manny. Manny being Manny is often said with distain. And yet it is a phrase coined by a guy that has tremendous respect and affection for Manny. Kevin Millar originally used the phrase. There are probably those who will scoff at that as well. My brother is one of those who would scoff. Millar is too rough and tumble with his tattoos, 3 day beard growth, his tendency to be the clown - for my conservative sibling. Millar himself has a certain reputation. It is nothing like the one Manny has earned polar opposite really. But, like Manny, Millar has earned a life-long spot in my heart.
Some may think it is simply because Millar was a part of that 2004 team. Sure that was part of it. Who can forget the rally cry of that team, Cowboy up? That too was a Millar-ism. It seems to me quite fitting that Manny and Millar were on that bedraggled, come-from-behind, somewhat rag-tag team. They were the underdogs. They were the team that was counted out prematurely. They were the team that made history. And they were the team of somewhat unlikely heroes. Cowboy up? What the fuck is that? But, it was fitting. Millar is my kind of player. He is the kind of guy you want in the clubhouse. He has an ability to fire guys up. He plays with heart. He plays for the love of the game. He plays to have fun. And, while it is his job and he plays to win, he doesnt take himself too seriously. I respect those qualities. Since that 2004 season I have had opportunities to see Millar play with his current team, the Orioles. Watching him there has done nothing but cement my feelings for him. He is not the best player in the league far from it. But, if players could make it to Cooperstown on sheer drive, attitude and ambition, Millar would be there already.
So, when Millar speaks about Manny, I am likely to hang on his every word. And I did. Millar paints a much different picture of Manny Ramirez than people usually see. He talks of a hard worker. He talks of a guy that not only studies starting pitchers, but one who studies the bull pens. He also watches other great hitters against his pitching opponents. Millar describes a guy who is generous, kind, soft, and accommodating, not aloof and egocentric. And, when Millar talks about the hitter that Manny is he has nothing but the highest praise, Theres no doubt in my mind that he has the prettiest right-handed swing in the history of the game, and I think hell go down as the best right-handed hitter weve ever seen. I do have to say it is a thing of beauty to watch Manny hit. To me THAT is Manny being Manny. The rest of it: his aloofness, his issues with the Boston media, his discomfort in Boston in general
I think Manny is just a really shy guy. Boston is a tough city. New Englanders are tough people with unforgiving natures and long memories. And we, the fans love Manny. Fuck the Boston sports reporters and their inane questions. I think Manny finally understands the media and the fans are two different things. And, no matter what is written in the papers or broadcast on the local news every night, we New Englanders form our own opinions. As it turns out our opinion of Manny Ramirez is highly favorable. And my personal opinion just got even more favorable after reading what Kevin Millar has said about him.
~picture from MLB.... Manny and Millar~
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For the Love of Men
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Apr 23, 2008 1:55 am
345 Views
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I love men. I have been accused of being a man hater of carrying baggage. I have had men take one look at my name the jaded part and think it means that because of my experiences I look for the worst in men. None of this is true. Sure, I occasionally generalize and stereotype men. But, I do the same to women.
I do so love men. Sometimes it seems I love everything about men. I love the way they smell, taste, feel, and sound. And, yes that is all completely sexual. I love the way they make me feel. And, that too is completely sexual. I have had a bit of sexual experience with a woman and nothing compares to sex with a man. I have on occasion threatened to switch sides but who the hell am I kidding? It will never happen. Sure a woman can make me feel good physically but a woman cannot touch my soul the way a man can.
I love the strength of a man. I feel comfortable and at times comforted by that. It seems that men seem to have an ability to help me heal when Im most hurt. I call redbeard when Im most needy. Men have a perspective that I appreciate. They have this ability to be reasonable and logical and so much less emotional than I do. And, yet seeing real emotion, feeling, and sensitivity in a man is the most beautiful thing in the world. Sensitivity infused with that masculine strength is such a huge turn-on.
But, one of the best things about men is just hanging out with them. It is a different experience than hanging out with the girls not better, just different. And, it is an experience I love. Men have a different sense of humor. They have a way of viewing the world that I can relate to. Yet, for as much as I love them and can relate to them, there are times they are a complete mystery to me. And, I love that too.
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My New Hero
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Apr 21, 2008 7:51 pm
363 Views
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This woman is my hero. This is Ayann Hirsi Ali. She is a woman who was born in Somalia. She was raised as a Muslim and grew up in Saudi Arabia, Kenya, and Ethiopia. For years she was a devout Muslim. Today she is an atheist. She is also an activist for womens rights, and an outspoken critic of Islam. In 1992 Ali sought asylum in The Netherlands in order to escape a marriage arranged by her father. While living in The Netherlands, she got an education, and was eventually elected to Parliament. She became quite controversial in The Netherlands when it became public knowledge that she had lied on her papers when seeking asylum. Forced marriage is not a reason to be granted asylum in The Netherlands. She now lives in the US. Like every good activist and outspoken woman, controversy continues to surround her.
My introduction to this woman has been through Real Time with Bill Maher. I have seen her on the show a couple times. Both times I have seen her she has struck me as being intelligent, wise, informed, well-spoken, well-read, educated, courageous, and unflappable. Most recently she was on the show this past weekend. As usual religion was a topic on the show. During the discussion on religion Ayaan said, I have respect for people who say religion is a source of happiness for them. But, we all condemn or should condemn any time people use religion as a way of taking freedoms from others. Let me be free to make my own mistakes and then give me the dignity to learn from my own mistakes. And, so eloquently she verbalized my issues with religion. Religion becomes Jihad. Religion becomes forced marriage. Religion becomes child abuse. Religion becomes the subjugation of women.
I listen intently to what Ayaan has to say about these things because she has been the victim of just these atrocities. She was subjected to female circumcision. She was nearly forced into a marriage that was not of her choosing to a man she did not know living in a foreign land. She escaped that by virtue of her inner strength and personal convictions. Few women in similar circumstances can see a way of doing what she managed to do. And, since escaping a fate that was not of her design or her liking she has not slunk quietly to the background. She has done quite the opposite. She has shone a huge spot light on these unspeakable crimes that are committed against women and children every day. By virtue of that she has also shone the spot light on herself. The price she has paid is high. She receives constant death threats. She requires 24/7 security.
Bill asked Ayaan what she thought about the recent events surrounding the fundamentalist Latter Day Saints polygamist compound in Texas. Ayaans reply was, I celebrate what the government is doing cracking down on that. I see it as the beginning of the end of multi-culturalism. Minority communities using religion and cultural arguments to take child rights, to practice forced marriage, to subjugate women, and wanting to be exempted from the law that applies to everyone else
I agree with her. The people living on this compound are US citizens. They are, therefore, bound by the laws that the rest of us are. They also have the same rights. The Freedom of Religion Amendment, however, does not cover polygamy and child marriage. And, why should it? If we allow it to, any 70 year old man could marry a 13 year old and claim entitlement based on religious freedom.
As far as ending multi-culturalism, I have mixed thoughts and feelings about that. I think diversity is good. I think it is healthy for society. But when a person or group stands under the umbrella of their cultural practices and religious beliefs to justify child abuse and misogyny perhaps less multi-culturalism is a price worth paying. I am a tolerant person. But, tolerance of intolerance is cowardice.
Listening to her speak on this most recent show, I decided I need to read her books, Infidel, The Caged Virgin, and Murder in Amsterdam. I think she has life experiences that are worth learning more about.
~picture from Ayaan's web site~
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He made me repeat myself twice
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Apr 14, 2008 7:18 pm
381 Views
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Or
. Yes, I ran out of things to say
But, in my defense, it was late and I was tired. 
I was talking to Robert earlier, bemoaning my insomnia last night. I told him I had done a couple blog posts when I realized that sleep was not coming anytime soon. I said, I wrote a couple blogs and when I ran out of things to say, I read for a while, and then
Wait a minute. What did you say?
I began to repeat myself and got as far as,
when I ran out of things to say
Then Mr. Wise Ass said, Say that again.
So once again I repeated myself for his benefit. I know he was having a hard time believing that I could run out of things to say. He had to hear it one more time. And, I have no ability to tell him no. Even when he is making fun of me.
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tag from cookie...
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Apr 14, 2008 3:47 am
405 Views
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My earliest BdsM -related memory is...
hhmm.. This is a hard one. There was this guy I dated who I think was probably dom but hadn't figured it out. I hadn't quite figured out I was a sub then either, but he triggered something in me - a desire to serve. One of his birthday gifts was a slave for the day certificate redeemable whenever he wanted. I was about 33 at the time I think. There were vague hints of who I am before that but nothing concrete.
At school I...
Rarely seemed to be paying attention and rarely wasn't.
My first BdsM relationship/interaction was.....
My first real interaction was with someone I now consider a very good friend - you know who you are. He was the first person to ever mark me.
I don't like talking about....
My looks. My weight.
My most treasured BDsM possession is...
I don't know that I have one that I would consider treasured. I had been hoping to buy something WITH a certain someone but we never got to it.
I wish I had...
Been better to my dad when he was alive.
I wish I hadn't....
Gone tax exempt for so many weeks last year.
My favorite gadget is ...
My I-Pod.
I'm very bad at....
Controlling my anger and frustration.
I'm always being asked...
Where are you going next?
Its not fashionable, but I love...
When my skin is tanned. Yeah I know it isn't healthy either.
The last big belly laugh I had was...
When Bob was here, and there were lots of them then.
If only I could be sure...
I'm not going to get hurt again.
On-line community friends say I am...
I'm not sure. I think some of them may give me more credit than I am due.
I often wonder....
If I will ever find someone to spend my life with.
TAG...
I don't know... whoever may be feeling it... Brie? Do you do tags? Sweets? You're above it right? How about you Eli?
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And so it has begun
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Apr 14, 2008 2:45 am
355 Views
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The baseball season has OFFICIALLY started now. The Red Sox and Yankees just finished their first series of the 2008 baseball season.
I am very proud to say that the Sox made a good showing and took the series 2 out of 3.
I live for this.
picture from Red Sox home page
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To link to this blog (jadedgypsy) use [blog jadedgypsy] in your messages.
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