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Blog off
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Nov 8, 2010 7:40 am
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For the next few weeks. Enjoy the fall as it changes to winter.
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Last news for a bit
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Nov 8, 2010 7:39 am
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President Obama did some dancing with the locals in Mumbai. Judging from the video, none of the $2 billion being spent on the trip went toward lessons.
* Obama told “60 Minutes” he was surprised at the political cost of passing the health care law. What’d he think all that yelling and screaming at townhalls was? Auditions for Jerry Springer?
* Brett Favre pulled off a miracle comeback Sunday. In the final two minutes, he saved the Viking season, his reputation, and maybe even his coach’s job. Favre was so amazing, Jenn Sterger was texting him pictures of HER genitalia.
* After days of post-election talk of no compromise, Democratic and Republican leaders did actually come to an agreement during the Sunday talk shows yesterday. They agreed that, yes, The Rent IS Too Damn High.
* Conan O’Brien returns to late night tonight on TBS. Still unknown? Whether his Masturbating Bear or NBC executives are the biggest jerk-offs.
* Two jockeys got into a fight Friday at the Breeder’s Cup. It was bound to happen. Both riders are known for their short tempers. I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip the staff.
* MSNBC suspends Keith Olbermann indefinitely for violating its policy against donating money to political campaigns. In fact, he’s just been given the network’s “Worst Employee in the World” honor.
* Cops in UK hunt man on run with his mother’s corpse. The suspect’s mom is considered armed and extremely rigor mortis.
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NASA
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Nov 5, 2010 9:01 pm
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Hope you got to see the video from NASA comet flyby mission this week. Does look like a mishapped penis though.
Delta 350 successfully launched from Vandenberg Air Force base in southern California tonight at 720 pm pdt.
Shuttle launch scrubbed until NOV 30TH. and the last flight of discovery will be at 4:05 AM a night launch..
And because of previous travel plans I will be there.
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Your news daily for Thursday
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Nov 4, 2010 7:07 am
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President Obama admits he took a “shellacking” Tuesday night. But he still has a lot more layers of shellacking to go before catching up to John Boehner.
* President Obama said he’s been “doing a lot of reflecting” since Tuesday’s election slap. By that he means he’s standing in front of a mirror going, “Still lookin’ good!”
* Nancy Pelosi won’t say what she plans to do now she’s lost the Speakership. “We have to write my resignation letter before you can see what’s in it.”
* Katy Perry calls new husband Russell Brand a “great man of God.” Well, he does have that whole Jesus look down pat.
* In his new book, Former President Bush says he almost replaced V-P Dick Cheney in 2004. But Bush changed his mind, saying, “I know there is good in him. I can feel it.”
* Sean Duffy – a veteran of MTV’s “Real World” – has been elected to Congress from Wisconsin. So I actually may someday have use for my “Snooki for Senate” bumper sticker?
* Did Bret Michaels have an affair with Miley Cyrus’s mom, causing her breakup with Billy Ray Cyrus? Yo, Tish. Aren’t you a little too old to be a groupie?
* Finally, what is it with Disney girls? First Britney, then Lindsay, now Demi Lovato heading into “treatment”? Remember when the only issue with Disney teens was whether Annette Funicello was filling out her sweater too nicely?
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Busy day at NASA
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Nov 3, 2010 5:21 pm
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@ 950 the Epoxi mission will fly by the comet Hartley 2, however you won't see the pics from it til after 4. Encounter successful, sending back lots of photos..
Shuttle Discovery's final flight planned liftoff is 3:28 weather permitting. Weather scrub now 3:04 Friday
And last but not least the launch of the 350th Delta II rocket from the US West Coast at 720 pm PDT or 1020 EDT
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This looks easy but it's really not
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Nov 3, 2010 10:21 am
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What’s the name of the singing trio from Dublin, Ireland whose vocal harmonies arrived in North America during the British Invasion as they scored six Top 40 hits starting with a Top 10 song in 1964?
Answer tmw
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The poltical aftermath tops the news daily
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Nov 3, 2010 10:18 am
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* GOP takes over the House after scoring historic gains. A GOP stampede? Looking like a commercial for “The Great Migrations.”
* Nancy Pelosi lost her job as Speaker. Still Nancy is keeping a stiff upper lip - and cheeks - and forehead.
* Christine O’Donnell loses in Delaware. Said O’Donnell in defeat: “I”ll Get You, My Pretties!” Meanwhile, Barney Frank holds onto his seat. Which, given the size of his ass is no easy thing.
* Nevada sends Harry Reid back to Washington. “Hell,” said Nevadans, “WE don’t want him around.” Reid defeated Tea Party favorite Sharron Angel. Angel then ventured into the Nevada desert to Area 51 and returned to her home planet.
* Jerry Brown is elected Governor of California again after 25 years. God, does this mean disco is on it’s way back too? Brown’s opponent Meg Whitman was gracious in defeat. “I lost the race. I lost $150 million. But more important, I lost 30 pounds!!!!”
* Nikki Haley wins South Carolina governorship. Haley is one of Palin’s Mama Grizzlies. In fact she gave her victory speech with a large salmon in her mouth.
* Rick Fox voted out off “Dancing with the Stars.” And you think Sarah Palin was smiling because of some stupid election?
* Disney teen pop queen Demi Lovato quits tour with Jonas Brothers to get “treatment” for “physical and emotional issues.” Translation: If I hear one more screaming tween I’m going to throw myself in a volcano.
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Election's over
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Nov 3, 2010 8:50 am
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Now lets see how these guys do..or will we see a gov't gridlock where nothing get's done.
TeaParty folks are interesting yet a little too rigid in there views.
President Palin, think about it.
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News you could use
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Nov 2, 2010 6:45 am
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It’s Election Day! The day Americans - living and dead - exercise their right to vote. And you know how most Americans feel about exercising.
* DNC is running an ad “Don’t Let Sarah Palin Win.” She’s not even the one dancing.
* The Democrats want to stop Palin. The Republicans want to stop Palin. Don’t know if she can still see Russia from her house, but she can certainly see a lot of paranoia.
* President Obama will be making an appearance on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show today. Seacrest? Really? Even Taylor Hicks isn’t that desperate.
* Ballot effort to legalize pot in California has been losing momentum. What do you expect? They’re STONERS!
* Delaware TV station “forgets” to air 30-minute paid ad from Christine O’Donnell. Twice. In related news, Delaware TV station manager turned into a three-foot horny toad.
* For the first time since leaving New York, the San Francisco Giants are World Champions! San Francisco fans immediately took to the streets -- and for once weren’t wearing leather and feathers.
* Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from 3rd wife Brooke Mueller. The couple has already agreed to joint custody of their dealer.
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