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ponderings, musings, filth, smut, love ... romance, ruminations, redundancy! ... a tribute to Master, a refuge for His baby girl.
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a woman's worth
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Apr 5, 2005 5:45 am
1271 Views
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Yesterday, the girls in the office were huddled together reading a FAX they rec'd. they were snickering about the 1950s article forwarded to them in which it suggests proper protocol re: a wife taking care of her Husband's needs.
i walked by the little cluster of girls and part of me felt like the kitten who swallowed the canary. i sashayed past, head held high, not arrogantly, but w/ my special little secret tucked away safely and i giggled inside w/ pride and delight. i knew something they did not. i wanted to educate them in the glories of service! Tell them what they were missing. Tell them they needed to open their minds and adjust their vision. i have been known to introduce such doctrine to vanilla friends and rather successfully! Not that they would convert, but that they would consider the merit in what i spoke.
It DOES speak to you IF you listen w/ your biological sensitivity rather than societal dictates. (batting eyelashes coyly *S*)
But this time, beyond my glee in feeling on the *inside* w/ a higher education, i felt something else, too. i felt a tinge of sadness! their snickers also made me feel they were mocking my Life.
"Do special things for Him ... like when He comes home from work, make sure to have a good warm meal ready for Him and on the table ... think of making His favorite dishes ... He will have worked hard all day ... take time to rest so that you will look fresh and inviting for Him ... put on make-up ... maybe put a ribbon in your hair ............."
The ribbon suggestion drew gaffaws and catty quips from the girls ... which quick segued to cracks like, "yeah, right! -- a RIBBON in mY HAIR??! -- me cook a meal for HIM?? He ought to be preparing mE a meal!".
The sadness remained w/ me for a moment more but it was still mixed w/ that blissful thankfulness reminding me that i have found One Who appreciates my services, my worth.
There was nothing wrong w/ women shaping their lives according to that article. Nothing wrong w/ the ideology of making their Men the center of the universe. There was nothing wrong w/ Men expecting such royal treatment. The only problem was that the Men frequently did not appreciate the value of the women serving Them. OR, They were louts and oppressed the poor women, stunting their pers'l growth. But otherwise, the concept is age-old NATURAL -- The Natural Order of Things.
her desires to serve, to please, His appreciating her worth ... what could be a better fit?! It is the ideal union. W/o appreciation, a woman's sense of purpose is lost and for naught. she LIVES to please. (Pls forgive me as i mean to add here, a "submissive" woman -- no offense meant toward Dominant Women.) Think of children -- W/we think nothing of sacrificing for O/our children so what is the big deal when a woman chooses to let the moon the sun the stars ALL revolve around her Man? What is better than recv'g a gift? Giving one! *S*
Here is a little more ... *S* ...
my main theory for relationships not working: there can only be ONE Leader! The minute the two cannot agree on Who is Boss, it will naturally fall to pieces and battles will never be won because no one will ever defer to the other. There simply should never be battles! Y/you are on the same side! Allies! *S*
i have an absolutely DELICIOUS little book called, "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen B. Andelin. It was given to me when someone was ready to throw it in the garbage! i TREASURE this book. Such a delight! Some of my fave passages:
"Serious consequences occur when the wife refuses to obey her Husband ..."
"What is the Role of Man? (and Man does have a capital M in this one passage! funny!) ... It is to be the guide, protector and provider for His wife and children. This role is not merely a result of custom or tradition, but is of divine origin."
"It is better to let a Man have His way and fail than to stand in His way and have Him feel thwarted." (my own experience: TRUTH! NEVER corner or pressure a Man -- it is doom for Him and doom to the relationship! It doesn't mean a girl is an empty shell w/ no deeply formed opinions but it is knowing HOW to respectfully present your ideas and when. A nag is a shrew and never to be considered! *S*)
"Never try to lead." Never try to out-do Him. (In other words, do not attempt to compete w/ His Masculinity!)
"Accept a Man at face value."
There are tips about not ever trying to change a Man and why (all making perfect sense!) -- it is about respect for the innate or inherent biological elements ... and there are delightful sections on "Rules for Admiration" -- and assignments on how to learn or achieve these ideals. There is the most charming illustration (page 33) of The Ideal woman from a Man's p.o.v. This will make Y/you believe in true Love!! Celestial Love.
"How to Achieve a feminine Manner" -- a chapter this slave may have to pass along to the girls at the office. (giggles *S*) Loud, crass, vulgar women are never attractive! i may have to start annonymously posting pages from my book on the breakroom bulletin board if they won't allow me to use the conference room for behavior lesson workshops.
Think how pleasant if W/we could re-introduce etiquette classes for young ladies! *S*
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my first public beating
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Apr 4, 2005 8:58 pm
1192 Views
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i wanted to entitle this, "this pretty planet" but then realized that no one would read it -- this, my very first blog entry.
The beating. A public beating at that! Well, this was my first time and i was ECSTATIC. It was a FLOOD of many different emotions. Today, Monday, two days after the experience, i am feeling all sorts of other things that speak to my desperate dependency on restoration from Master. For Him to "kiss my boo boos". For Him to stroke His baby back to Life -- help her transition back into the false world all around her because the only real place for her is to live w/ full pure surrender and hopefully, always in His back pocket ready to be pulled out in any given instance and used or admired.
my Master brought me to Paddles in NYC -- and gee, can anyO/one offer recommendations re: other places that might exist? Thank goodness for this venue but surely there must be other places for U/us, no? (Do tell, someO/one, do tell, pls!!)
How can i ever express the romance and the purity of this Sacred connection? How can i ever convey precisely how beautiful i feel? When i give my submission, my ultimate surrender, i pray for it to be cherished and deposited w/ a worthy recipient. my Master, is Heaven sent! He treasures it, all the while, exploiting it and celebrating it, too.
So ............. the romance. It started Saturday afternoon w/ arriving at Master's Home and my serving Him by managing His cock while He read. i was positioned on all fours and moved back and forth w/ my pussy hole stroking His cock, not to bring Him to orgasm but simply to keep His cock warm and comforted.
Later, Master ordered some Japanese food and there W/we sat, that afternoon, whiling away the time so magnificently, Master in His fave chair and me in my doggy bed there at His feet collared, content, safe (and a bloody but pretty mess because He savagely every hole even w/ me having my period) ... as He fed me lovingly and W/we watched a movie together.
Later W/we napped. W/we sleep like one, O/our limbs completely intertwined as if W/we just fall gracefully and comfortably into position.
Master advised that W/we would not be eating a meal until 2am and that there were things in store for His slave. slave was giddy and high from the anticipation.
W/we arrived at a little seedy Irish bar -- perfect! Fabulous irony! All dressed up and there at this bar ... a lonely odd looking Man there at the bar leering at Master's baby looking so over-the-top dripping hot and well, it was just SO much fun to be there w/ Master. Master can treat His slave to royalty or the most dismal of lurking reality and ALL of it is a splendid journey because it is always about experience. Newness. And intimacy. W/we *travel* and no matter where W/we are, W/we travel to new places because even the urban city landscape presents splendor! The stink of the mold of the place ... the drunken underage drinkers ... the pool table ... it is like entering another time another place -- everything transporting U/us to either a new awakening or a vivid haunting memory.
So Master loosened up His slave w/ intensified f.ings at His home and then a cocktail at the Irish pub. *S*
Then to the evening at hand.
He paraded His baby in a way. Always w/ something on His mind. This Master has a quiet genius. He is at work, methodically, but quietly. Effortlessly, so it seems. But this slave recognizes His intensity and deliberation now.
He brought His baby to a secluded corner and undressed her. He, w/ great care and attention, always dresses and undresses His slave. she is His little doll.
Once naked, He fastened the head harness and gag and secured her head to something in the ceiling. she then was instructed to display herself. To feel stark naked like this was not just arousing, it was MIND BLOWING. she felt as if in a film ... transported to a stage w/ wind machines and dry ice and one big spot light burning her in like the star attraction! Like she had emerged as this ultimate creature to be revered and devoured! Just standing there in formal manners, legs slightly apart atop spindley 5" stilettos ... naked ... eyes cast down ... sulty darkened lips containing the ball gag ... naked ... naked ... NAKED ............... for all the world to see her pretty little pink smooth baby girl pussy ... it was to feel her pussy as if omnipresent she was so aware of her nakedness!
A Mistress entered the room and asked if anyOne owned this slave. To which Master replied that He did. And She was then given permission to inspect and beat this slave.
It started mildly enough. i felt regal! On fire! So proud to be there as Master's property. i wanted the WORLD to see me because i, myself, saw myself through Master's eyes. THAT is what bathed me!! To see myself as this ultimate pet, this coveted piece of property ... making Master so proud! And when others admired me, it was really Master they were admiring. His handiwork and the way He transformed this slave into something spectacular.
The Mistress looked to Master, wondering why this slave was not uttering a peep w/ her use of the crop. Master stood up and came over and it was THIS kind of thing that had my heart racing. The matter-of-factness of it! And He advised that His slave could take much more and then handed her His cane.
Cut to the finale: this slave took the Mistress's caning. Severely. If anyone were to see these marks, i would suspect half of the alt membership would be appalled. They would be scared out of their wits. It even scares me to look at it. i feel the stinging even today and can hardly sit. my softest flannel jammies (never worn in front of Master!) do not even bring relief. They feel like some horrible rubbing of salt in a wound!
It is so pronounced and pyschologically i have needed some major supervision and care. Emotionally i am so reduced in these moments because i really go there ... so that one of my favorite moments of the night was Master's beaming pride, yes, but specifically His coming to His baby afterward and His stroking of her and telling her what a pretty baby she is ... dressing her again and wanting to continue to show off His little gem ... holding her and taking her out afterward for a feast that felt like she had been hungry (as in famished!) all her life! He nurtured her back and stroked her like she had just earned the gold medal. she was Daddy's special little pretty girl.
(A little more if anyO/one feels like reading on ... *S*)
This slave, at points, was turned to face the small quiet audience watching. she liked this best! When they could witness her face and her expression. she sputtered at a pt and this felt oddly arousing, too. she had tried so hard to keep her composure and make friends w/ the pain -- take the beating well but when she gave into it -- when she could not contain it, she yelped ... she was facing the audience and she felt a pleasure in her shame -- them witnessing it -- it feeling like some plateau of accomplishment! Achievement!
Most intoxicating was Master directing His slave to thank the Mistress. slave gushed out profuse thanks, eyes still respectfully cast downward and the thank You properly phrased. To then be permitted to look into her eyes after the initial thank You and thank Her again, even more heady! To then collapse gleefully and exhilirated in Master's arms, in His care, completely spent, looking f.ed in everyway imaginable, was to have gone somewhere so magical and so dark.
she reflects on two physical sensations:
1) the first touch of the Mistress caressing deeply this slave's thighs in btwn swats ... the exquisite contrast ... but then the contrast too of the caress w/ the digging in sharpness of her fingernails -- she did not just trail her nails along baby's flesh, she dug them in like a sweet reminder of Who is handling her ... that this is a strong female Dominating this slave in this moment ..................... this was the first time this slave has experienced a Dominant woman beating her!
2) when Master removed the gag and head harness after the beating ... the unlocking it was to hear the metal clasps as if magnified through loud speakers! and this slave's mouth was sore ... she felt the drool completely saturating her chin still dripping down to her chest and her jaw was so sore she could barely move her mouth but to then utter the thank You w/ this impediment only fueled the reality that she felt her beauty in helplessness .......................
And now, the coming back up requires a loving Sadist -- a Master Who knows.
Thankfully, that is this Master. This slave's Master. It is the contrast of the sinister w/ the tender. The wicked Sadist, the tempered Lover. The dichotomy that makes the dirtier all the more filthier and the tenderness all the sweeter.
Aftermath:
Yes and then ... baby girl ... is it any wonder that today you are reeling? Attempting to hold onto your Master's soothing afterward ... wanting to savor the experience while finding more reassurance that your worth will not be lost, your precious gifts not trashed ... is it any wonder you want to LOVE your Master ALL THE MORE for what He brought you? Is it any wonder You are holding on for dear Life, praying to feel tighter bonds for fear that it is so great an enslavement and so treacherous and exciting a ride that you may fall off one day?
Trust. Trust in your Master, little one. Do not douse His fire w/ your own history or conditioned traits ... don't let that interfere w/ where your Master takes you because you would then miss out on the rapture. Focus on the blissful reminders and remember, your exposure, your heightened vulnerability means a sense of discord unless you remain literally chained to Master day after day ... so no wonder the sensation is that of fear again ... it is the fear of having gone further little one ... and feeling completely at your Master's mercy ... and wanting Him more and needing Him more because you simply CANNOT experience all this unless owned and protected.
your vulnerability is His possession, baby girl. Put away your armor or the remnants of it and keep going. you need not continue attempting to educate your Master on your attachment to Him. He knew about it b4 you did, little one.
The End. (Never!! *S*)
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