I'm a compassionate dom, and my girl Juliette -- I call her "Starling" -- knows it. I am very gentle with her when it comes to her many inhibitions and she has come to trust me. Not that she has too many boundaries. She will take pain for me. Beautifully. She'll bend over and take an active slice of ginger in her vulnerable pink pucker hole and barely flinch as my merciless thrashings strike her pear-shaped ass. I watch her muscular flanks squeeze and dimple. And then of course the ginger tortures her. I come around to the front of her where sweat collects and runs down her sternum and her heavy breasts hang forming arrowheads that point to the floor, and she looks up at me, her eyes smarting, the tears streaming down her face, her flushed red lips -- she has very special lips -- whispering her pain inaudibly.

She'll take humiliation for me. I once had her lie in the mud to lick mud off my boots and as she licked, I backed away and I told her she could not lift herself. I told her to press her filthy cunt into the dirty mud. She did it. Lovingly. I love taking fistfuls of mustard to her fat pussy, love how it burns, how she takes it, how it smears and I can drag it up her body onto her breasts and I love how it dries and crusts on her body and she has to beg me to please let her clean herself. Not before she says to me what a filthy pig she is.

But to me, no matter how she is dirtied, smeared, pained and stained by my insulting splosh play, my Starling is always, always beautiful. So what if her buttocks are wider than the regulation Hollywood ass. I love them for it. They are lush, and so beatable. They respond to a spanking, to a prodding, to a caning, so visually -- no small bony ass can quiver and shudder like my Starling's ass when I go to work on it. Her breasts are kind of long and pendulous - I like to make her bend over and to slap them just at the ends - crisp, tart strokes. As she's bent in a 90 degree angle, I have her press the backs of her hands against the small of her back and try to press her elbows together. That way, her titties swing chaotically when I slap them or beat her; they make frantic shapes, they deform in jumps as her slapped nipples redden and harden and seem to elongate even more -- they seem to weep for the ground. They incite me.

My Starling loves all this. She loves to suffer beautifully because for her, only in suffering is she beautiful. She does not think that she is beautiful without it. She will not look at her body in a mirror and so there are no mirrors in our play space, though I would love them -- to be able to see both sides of her during punishment. In fact, she doesn't think she's attractive at all. She is so wrong about that, she makes me mad. She has even admitted that when she's blindfolded, she imagines having someone else's body. Once she divulged this private secret before we played. And I admit I saw red. I took it out on her when I whipped her pussy. I made her hold herself open -- oh god does she have a lovely quim. I gazed at it with great lust as she waited obediently, naked, her legs in the stirrups, cunt lips and pubes pulled aside, and that hot cunt pouting up at me all nude and pink innards! I get damned hard just picturing her there. Anyway, I brought the little kid flogger across her wet puss, over the thickening inner flesh of labia, her big brooding clit, her glistening hole. As I whipped her moderately, her cunt got slicker and slicker until her mucus clung to the thongs. Soon, with every stroke the thongs dragged heavily in her muck before they snapped free. When I drew back, the slick from her horny pleasure had gummed my flogger and I had to shake the thongs free. But gradually, as her cunt swelled and reddened from excited blood rushing in, I started to let my strokes bite. It was just kid leather, but an open pussy is quite helpless and I know how to wreak that extra sting. She started hissing with each stroke now. Tried to shield her clit by outstretching her index finger and I yelled at her to take it away. She obeyed, and the engorged bulb became an invitation. I deliberately went for it, could actually see it bounce after a blow, truly enjoying the beauty of her thick clitoral bulb. She started to cry out. But I had other plans for her voice. With each stroke I made her say, "I'm sorry I said I'm not beautiful." Over and over. "I'm sorry I said I'm not beautiful." I did this to her until she cried and pleaded for me to stop. (Of course, she never yellowed out because she loves to feel this beautiful -- this much in pain). And I'll tell you her pussy was raw and throbbing by the time I finished her. I couldn't contain myself then. I yanked my raging cock free from my pants and fucked her raw hole right then and there. I knew my rough pubic hairs grinding into her well-punished pussy would be torture. My Starling took it well; only a few surprised yelps escaped her. And I did not let her cum that night; I came alone, inside her burning cunt. And then, you know, I thought I'd cured her of her stupid self nit-picking. Silly me.

Oh, she didn't speak of it for awhile. Then she started saying things like -- "I can't wear those kind of jeans with my shape, can I?" Always trying to enlist me in her negative self-image thing. And though she was being less vocal about it overall, I knew that inside she was off and running in her negative ways of old.

When we play, if she has her way, she prefers to be blindfolded. Many times I indulge her in this. But I lately I don't like that she might be picturing herself as someone else. I don't like what she thinks about herself and I want it to stop. She thinks her luscious, pouty lips are too broad. She hates the cute, virginal freckles that cross the bridge of her nose, and the upper part of her chest, and dot her arms and thighs. She calls her voluptuous, prime rib of a cunt "fat." She thinks her wonderfully punishable ass is "chubby." My Starling's vision of herself appalls me: Her plump-nubbed clitoris, which tortures me with lust to bite and nibble and play on it, is "oversized." Her long-drawn nipples, that make me ache to clamp, whip, pull with my teeth, eat and swallow them, are "stretched." Her hips -- too wide; her torso -- too straight, her eyes, her hair, her teeth … it goes on and on. I'm just fed up with her self-loathing. This is an utter disrespect she shows herself. And I'm starting to take it personally.

So today, you see, she will submit to me -- to MY vision, MY appreciation, MY aesthetic judgment of her body. I have arranged a little training session for my Starling.

[To be continued..."