As I slip my foot into the designer pumps at Nordstrom’s with a heel as high as its $500 price tag, my reflection instantly takes on a sexier attitude. I can hear Lola in the film Kinky Boots say “the sex is in the heel!” Indeed it is, but after a couple dozen steps across the shiny tiled floor, the oh-so-tight embrace of these fetish pumps moves from tantalizing to sheer torture. Too bad! This Italian jewel of a shoe did whet my fetishistic appetite. For me, wearing stilettos radiates sexual power and holds the energy of my erotic presence where I connect with the earth, my feet.
A fetish, according to freedictionary.com, is an object believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially an object associated with animistic or shamanistic power; a talisman. In our kinky world fetishes are sexually charged objects. I read that Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots. Well, I know more than a few modern men in the Scene with the same fetish almost two centuries later.
As far as how the power of your fetish affects you, to each their own! I view heels as a Dominant symbol, but for Fakir what is exciting about ultra-high stilettos is “the thought that someone had to endure hours of painful training to learn to wear them...I call it the process of adaptation.” In his Body Play and Modern Primitives magazine Fakir wrote that John Willie, the father of fetish fashion, “described the look of a woman who learns to master ultra-highs as ‘cultivated helplessness, mobile immobility, a delicate balance always on the edge of collapse.”
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Fakir loves wearing corsets and tight laces practically every day. In the 1950s, he created the "curvaceous corset,” an hourglass style that allows for a minimum waist with maximum curves. I benefited greatly from his love of corsets as he shared his passion with me and they became part of my Dominant Mistress persona. I, to this day, have an armoire full of corsets to fit these men who fantasize about wearing them to dress their submissive persona.
I haven’t seen Robert in a long time. Still, he writes me from Kansas that he only needs to look at the picture of himself in my dungeon all decked out in female fetish wear: wig, makeup, corset, stockings, heels and arm binders, and he goes into sub space, his “special destination." "And,” he says, "it all started with you putting me in a corset and high heels, transforming me into a slutty female slave, with sheer nylons and sheer delight. There in the safety of your dungeon I discovered something new about myself. With you, I explored sides of me that are charged with erotic feelings of surrender. There I found my inner submissive. It's a great place to go for a while. Knowing that “place” helps me stay sane in my busy world of responsibilities.”
From the power suit to the cocktail dress, what you wear says a great deal about you. These days, many just buy the latest trend to stand and model at their next party; those with a fetish for fashion know that it is about embracing your erotic fantasies of control and surrender. Doubt that what your partner wears will add to your arousal? As my good friend, JD of the Two Knotty Boys, says, “picture someone you are attracted to naked. Now picture them with hot boots on. Sexier, right?” Do you agree with his “rule of cool”? I do.
What’s your fetish and what do you think it says about you?
My dear friend Joanne has a fetish for dressing like a Catholic school girl. Tall and blonde, her childhood friends always teased her about not looking Jewish, so wearing a short pleated uniform with a big shiny cross to play parties really turns her on. She opens her tight white blouses far enough to make sure she gets in trouble. Standing there chewing bubble gum in black patent leather high heels over her white laced bobbi socks, she becomes a timeless Lolita who needs to be taught a thing or two. Her transformation feeds another fetish of mine: the caning disciplinarian! Yes, I love supple rattan canes lacquered, thin, black or red that makes that high pitch “sssswichhh” sound when I flick my wrist.
There is power in costuming and it’s more than dressing the part. It is about allowing your passion to surface and your sexual hunger to let out someone other than your everyday polite socialized self. Be careful how you use these symbols and talismans. I met an adorable young unaccompanied man at a leather conference recently who was wearing prominently a locked collar. I asked who “has the key?” to which he replied, “No one. I have a slave’s heart.” “Ah,” I told him, “some in this community will assume that you have a Mistress or Master when in fact you are hoping for the right one to come your way.” In good leather tradition collars are about agreements and consensual power exchange.
The very next day, at a D/s workshop I noticed a simple leather thong around his neck. I complimented him for no longer misrepresenting himself to the crowd. He said, “I thought about what you said and that my slave heart could shine through my attitude and not by wearing a locked collar when I am the one who holds the key.” I wish him well on his journey.
Were you at Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, the biggest fetish feast on earth this year? Leather, latex, boots, heels, tattoos, piercings, collars and chains, bondage of all styles proudly worn under the California sun. If big crowds are not your style, I hope you get to indulge your erotic fetish in good company and in all its glory, be it in your local dungeon or the privacy of your bedroom!
In leather pride, with heart,
Cléo Dubois
When not writing for ALT and traveling the country doing demonstrations, Ms. Dubois enjoys mentoring couples in private, guided play at her SF Bay are dungeon. You'll find her special couples page at:
www.sm-arts.com/coaching/index.html
For updates on her classes and workshops go to: www.sm-arts.com/upcoming.html
The Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
The Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
November 10-11, 2007 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
February 9-10, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
Dominate with presence and passion!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html
