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| Michael Rosen |
BDSM internet romances are all the rage. People meet in chat rooms, "scene" online, get off on cybersex! Some romances lead to meeting in the flesh. More than a few end up in the trash bucket. I met my life partner Fakir before virtual dating, face to face at a kinky social in San Francisco's legendary Chateau.
Fakir was into body modification long before that very term entered our vocabulary. He had pierced and enlarged his nipples to a size I had never seen. Eagerly showing them off to all around that evening, he invited me to slide my ring finger through his nipple. Really! So I did! Little did I know that some years later he would offer me another ring!
It was not love at first sight, but rather a kinky friendship. We discovered that we had many common interests in and out of the dungeon. Sure enough, that visionary spiritual masochist grew on me. "You guys look happy," our friends said as they encouraged our dating. And so, one day in a majestic Redwood Grove in Northern California, witnessed by Leathermen and SM folks we loved, we tied the knot. The big one! That was almost two decades ago. The rest is history. Enough about me!
Unfortunately not all BDSM romances work out. Sure the sex can be formidable, more passionate than anything we had ever experienced. Opening the door where your kink has been sequestered in the dark and releasing your inner beast can be quite a challenge. Are you ready for that?
For a long time Ann had a serious crush on John. She, a consummate SM player, knew what she wanted and that was to submit to him. She sensed he had a tremendous suppressed appetite for power, dominance and rough sex. Quite butch, he presented himself as a gentle warrior, a real Don Juan with no interest in the Scene, or so he told her. She promised that she would do anything he wanted as long as he honored "red," the universal safeword for stop. She pursued him. She even gifted him with a sharp blade to add to his sword collection. His hobby was fencing.
Eventually he stopped resisting and took her home. That night, his inner predator came out full force. He dominated her without any hesitation. His hands were strong; he spanked her hard, demanding she remain still and take it for him. He did not think twice about grabbing her hair and fucking her face. She was his and she loved it. And then, he would pin her down and fuck her royally on all fours. Even her orgasms were his to command.
They had a few torrid dates but he certainly was not one for process or aftercare. In fact, he really did not want to talk about how he felt about her submission, or the ritual violence of their sexuality together. A few weeks later he dismissed her with some lame excuse at the click of an email. Sure, she felt really hurt and mourned at first. Then she got very angry. "What a coward," she thought! Later she came to understand that he scared himself with his dark side. She remains sad that such a gifted Top slammed the door on his own potential, especially since it was the hottest sex ever! Today she uses her memories of bottoming to him when she masturbates.
Remember Sonora, who sensed from M's very first post on ALT.Com that he might be the Dom she was looking for? After many emails and some online teasing, they decided to get together. "From the start we both agreed to total honesty, holding nothing back, everything was up for discussion and feedback was essential. At first I did not really know how to negotiate. It's hard when you are inherently submissive to ask for what you need or say you don't want to do something."
Their first contract was for one month, during which time they learned to talk after play, Sonora reports. "I didn't really know what I was into. Pain? Service? Humiliation? One thing I was sure of: I could not risk exposure or inappropriate behavior in public. He agreed to respect that limit. Also, it was hard for me say what was too much pain; I'm not much of a masochist. However, M is satisfied with taking me to my limits, and pushing a little more."
They contacted me for play guidance in my dungeon. What this Master and his submissive really needed was to slow down enough to tune in to each other! She later wrote me, "Our lives are an interesting mix of D/s, power exchange, and just being a couple. I was looking for a Dom that wanted control and that is what I have."
Sometimes, lightning strikes and you fall head over heels in love. I was not there when Neon met Slick, but I heard sparks flew. Neon says: "A solid week of passion and connection and then ripped apart by the circumstances of our lives. She returned to Detroit and I remained in San Francisco. That was a month ago. Since then we exchanged all manner of email, phone, text and IM missives spanning the continental divide, flaming our passion. Collaring is edge play for her, something she thought she would never do. She is fast, wants me now, wants to run to me, jump into my arms. I want to prolong the agony.
"As her flight landed I sent her a text with instructions: 1. Slowly walk towards me. 2. Slower. 3 Hold my gaze. 4. Present your neck to me. 5. Tell me what you are surrendering to. She is so good, I can tell it's hard but she approaches molasses slow, our cunts aching, hungry to connect with touch. She kneels in front of me right there in the airport and says, "I surrender to our passion, our mutual passion." I kiss her long and hard as the lock clicks and we are one."
Now that is romance!
In leather pride, with heart,
Cleo Dubois
www.sm-arts.com
When not writing for ALT, Ms. Dubois enjoys mentoring couples in private, guided play at her SF Bay area dungeon. You'll find her couples page at:
www.sm-arts.com/coaching/index.html.
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
November 14-15, 2009 in San Francisco
Hands on Training!
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html
- Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
October 3-4, 2009 in San Francisco
Hands on Training!
Dominate with presence and passion!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html
For updates go to: www.sm-arts.com/upcoming.html
