Rough play sure can be hot, spanning the realm from slap and tickle to kidnap, take down and “” scenes that push the edge of consent. It’s often as simple as letting your inner brat out to play.
When I came into the Scene, everyone bottomed first. Slave material I was not -- I was feisty. Mz. Brattie wants to submit, but she is not going to make it easy for you. Mz. Brattie? Yes, that’s the persona of mine that likes to be forced to do things she usually would not do, an expression I heard whispered from the lips of many clients during my years of professional dominance. “Make me do it, please.”
Resistance ramps up the sexual energy of erotic power play. "No, no, no” means “more, yes, more” and inspires conquest. This kind of exchange gives us a chance to fight our hardest, see our Tops in their full power, and eventually cave in to what we really desired all along. I am not only talking about physical resistance. It’s more than saying no with my body, my eyes, my lack of acquiescence; There’s a huge mental component too! I need to feel strong and proud, obstinate and perhaps even guilty of relishing the pleasure of testing my Dominant.
Of course, everyone has a limit. Does a good slap in the face, if provoked or deserved, push you into submission or make you want to scream red? Since I strongly dislike scenes that turn sour; I recommend you negotiate clearly, especially if you are a brat or like to top brats. Discuss struggling before you start. How you want your scene to end?
Some years ago I met a couple, she was a gym trainer and he an ex-policeman -- and she loved the kidnap fantasy they played with. He sure had a lot of cop hold tricks to get her down. She resisted so hard she was drenched with sweat and horny as can be -- and that, she confided to me, did not necessarily turn him on.
On the other hand, this kinky young man-boy switch I know, Madsen, writes, “Playing rough turns me on like nothing else. Perhaps because it’s just so close to being real, and things that could be real, are scarier, and more compelling for me. As of late my favorite playmate and I have been involved in a little game we like to call ‘Little Sister’s Revenge.’ We very much enjoy playing with the idea of , and often engage in big brother/little sister games. I am most often than not the cruel big brother, pulling my little sister’s hair, biting, scratching and choking her, and yes, kicking, punching, and wrestling. What brother/sister relationship would be real without a good verbal and fist fight?”
“For me,” Madsen continues, “rough play is a simple way to return to a primal state, the same way that animal play or age play can; the blood we will spill, the oxygen we will gasp for, and nerves that will respond. Sometimes my little sister sneaks up on me when I’m already asleep and grabs me by the throat, declaring that now I will pay for all of the times I pulled her hair, held her down, took her hand in mine aimed at her face and said ‘why are you hitting yourself?!’ Since it’s just a game, at the end of the day it can be as intense or lighthearted as we wish it to be.”
San Francisco Mistress Selina Raven, one of my Academy’s instructors, writes: “I’ve always been something of a brat. Everything that I was expressly directed not to do resulted in my spending a fair amount of time and energy doing just that...like ball-busting. As a young girl, I was told that kicking a boy in the balls was absolutely the worst kind of pain that could be inflicted upon a boy. I wasted absolutely no time in testing that one out; the very next day I kicked my neighbor Mikey square in the crotch when we were playing in my backyard after school, and marveled as he turned white and dropped to the ground, clutching his genitals and moaning in pain.”
“There’s still quite a bit of that wicked little girl that comes out in me whenever I decide to do some ball-busting,” Selina admits. “I have to breathe deeply to keep control of myself, otherwise I start giggling uncontrollably before I even begin. My slave, piggy, knows exactly what it means when I ask him to remove my boots, as I always strike with the top of my bare foot. After removing my boots, piggy assumes the position: he kneels on the ground approximately three feet in front of me, with his arms held behind his back, breathing deeply and grounding.
“I will usually warm him up with some light taps with the top of my foot, which is as much for me as it is for him. One always wants to be sure of oneís aim before delivering an energetic strike! The very best thing about ball-busting with my slave is the sweet way in which he asks for mercy. When he falls forward to kiss and worship the foot that was tormenting him, the sweetness of the gesture brings a smile to my face, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for his masochistic submission.”
And I know just how she feels! Once my submissive is on all fours, I relish giving him a few hard kicks on the butt with the instep of my boot! I especially enjoy being forceful, though, when my intent is to confront submissives with their own taboos.
Robert is quite the masculine man. He is collared and kneeling naked in front of the women who are taking my Intensive course. Sucking cock is something I know he has never done. Would he do it for us? I have a statuesque brunette wearing a strap on black silicone dick standing silently behind him.
“Robert, turn around and see what I have for you today.” He gasps as he sees Jackie, and his face turns bright red. I reach around and pull his hair back so he is looking up at me. “Robert, I want you to open your mouth and place your lips around the head of this big dick. Understood?”
His neck is hard as a rock and he won’t budge. “You are finding my order a bit humiliating, arenít you?” He nods yes. “Oh, really! And what if I shove your head down and make you suck it? You would do it, would you not?” His voice is barely a whisper, “yes, Madame, only if you make me do it.” I forcefully push his face down. He lets go with a deep sigh, opens his lips and takes the shaft deep in his mouth until he gags. “Good boy,” I say. No longer resisting my hold, I lighten up and give him room to breathe. “Want me to make you do it some more?” He doesn’t answer, and this time I gently motion him to suck. He complies. “What a good cocksucker you are!” Jackie compliments him. “I am enjoying it.” We all notice that Robert is also starting to enjoy himself!
As people we are so conditioned to be gentle, polite, not fight or hurt each other, many kinksters never even consider rough play. As perverts we can leave our conditioning at the dungeon door. Negotiation and safewords de rigueur, of course!
Play hard, play safe. Enjoy the sizzle it brings.
Cleo Dubois
www.sm-arts.com
When not writing for ALT, Ms. Dubois enjoys mentoring couples in private, guided play at her SF Bay area dungeon. You'll find her couples page at:
www.sm-arts.com/coaching/index.html.
Academy of SM Arts 2008 Schedule
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
May 17-18, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
Dominate with presence and passion!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
July 19-20, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html
Erotic Dominance Weekend intensive, Professionals’ course
August 15-17, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
The techniques, fetishes and business of Professional Dominance
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/pros.html
http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-pros.html
For updates go to: www.sm-arts.com/upcoming.html
