As honored as I was to be a Leather Marshal at this year’s Pride Parade, I cannot help but reflect on my first in 1985. I walked that same street in a very small SM contingent to the sound of…. disapproving silence. Much has changed for all us! From the Compton Cafeteria Riots of 1966 I heard about, to the White Light Riots 12 years later, San Francisco has been a major force in LGBT rights, thanks to the relentless efforts of so many valiant people. And now as I hear the roaring approval of the crowd, I am overcome with joy. It was an especially happy parade this year, as we celebrated the California Supreme Court decision for the freedom of all people to marry whom they please.
When our dear friends, Alan and Samantha, tied the knot, each accepted a gold ring as a symbol of their commitment to “love, honor and obey.” Years later, they had found their way into the Scene. After all the classes, munches and play parties, they felt that they had been through the fires of relationship and asked Fakir’s and my help in sealing their love with a branding ritual.
 Fakir Musafar |
It is, as Fakir says, pain-free and bloodless since extreme heat (2400°F) sears instantly. Sam continues, “We shared our feelings for each other with the friends who gathered to witness our ceremony. He went first. His eyes watered as Fakir drew the lines of his waves with the tip of his cautery unit. In that moment, my husband, and my Top, experienced the power in surrender. Then it was my turn.”
“Fakir looked deep into my eyes and asked, ‘are you ready for the kiss of fire?’ Yes, I whispered. Hsssssssssssss, the torch is on. Hss, the small strip of metal touches my skin. Ahhhhhhh, deep breath as each strike sears my flesh over and over. As we brought our hot red branding ritual to a close, we marked our new awareness of just what ‘love, honor and obey’ meant in our twisted poly kinky lifestyle, in service to each other and to that which is ‘us.’”
Many folks in 24/7 D/s relationships fantasize about permanently branding their slaves, and yes, it can be done tastefully with proper preparation and the right tools. If you want to know more, check out what the Master has to say here.
Less permanent marks of service include body piercings. Although we call them permanent piercings, rings can always be removed. They make great bondage anchors! Rings through nipples and labias in women, frenum and guiche in men, give Mistresses and Masters the sexy control they seek. A Dominant woman leading her submissive by a leash tethered to his Prince Albert is a lovely site to behold!
Perhaps the most popular and well-known mark of service is the collar, worn proudly by submissives even if only in scene, a weekend or longer. For the bottom, it signifies the safety of containment and a sign of belonging. Those who wear it agree it is a symbol of servitude, obedience, and devotion removable only by the one who put it on.
Have you ever been collared? It really changes your headspace and opens the door to a private reality that is just between you and the one whose collar you are wearing. It has a way of focusing your thoughts and your desire to please.
Francine has always wanted to Top her partner, but she thought she’d never get a chance. One day, he suggests they switch roles, and she be in charge of their evening’s play. He says this time he wants to let go of control and be taken on a submissive journey like he usually gives her. He leads the negotiations just like always. “I want to be tied up and spanked. And you can use the nipple clamps I use on you. I want you to have your way with me, OK?”
Can she do it? Francine takes a deep breath and agrees. “The first thing I want you to do is go take a shower. I will meet you in our playroom. Present yourself to me naked.” She seats herself elegantly in the middle of the leather couch as he returns. Signaling him to come kneel in front of her, eyes down with hands holding elbows behind him, she notices the sheepish grin on his face.
Not wanting him to know how nervous she is, Francine stands and slowly walks around him, silently rehearsing what she is about to say. She stops in front of him and shows him the collar. “Tonight, this is my collar. As the wearer you agree to serve and obey Me for the duration of time you wear it. Only I may remove it. Do you accept my collar?”
This is the moment. Will he consent? “Yes, Mistress,” he whispers. As she fastens the collar around his bowed neck he sighs, a good sign. Sitting down on the couch, she lays him across her lap. Starting with light taps at the bottom of his ass, she says: “I believe you asked to be spanked? I want to really do it -- to give you the paddle too. Are you ready, boy?” Again Francine hears a soft “yes, Mistress.” By the time she finishes, his cheeks are glowing and his cock growing. She has him stand in front of her, reaches in her pockets for the bitty little clamps he so often put on her, looks at him straight in the eyes and clamped his tender nipples. He gasps but does not complain. Quick as a fox, she attaches a short leash to his collar, orders him to get on all four and leads him back to the couch.
Tugging on the leash just so, She brings his head between her legs, “Now boy,” she encourages, “do you know what I want?” The air shifts; the room feels electric. Great, she thinks. Now I will get the worship I crave! She hears herself calmly directing the speed of his tongue on her labia, then on her clit. He is taking her directions well, worshiping her just the way she wants until she reaches several orgasms. So sweet!
Later, de-collared and wrapped in each other’s arms, talking about how hot their play was, Francine notices he’s calm and relaxed. Blissed out, you might say! So is she! Collaring rituals are very powerful intimate rites.
How real we get when we connect below the surface is what creates the potential for mutually satisfying service. Your collar doesn’t have to a heavy chain with locks; it could be a string of pearls, as long as you agree on its symbolic value with your partner. Any mark of service, permanent or temporary, is not as important as the energy exchange, given and received. Those into service wear their marks with pride.
Come back next month for a truly transformational tale. Read what happens when I collar a hot young boot fetishist to worship a very special pair of mine!
In leather pride, with heart,
Cleo Dubois
www.sm-arts.com
When not writing for ALT, Ms. Dubois enjoys mentoring couples in private, guided play at her SF Bay area dungeon. You'll find her couples page at:
www.sm-arts.com/coaching/index.html.
Cleo Dubois Academy of SM Arts offers:
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
July 19-20, 2008 at the SF Citadel
This intimate weekend puts it all together, the heat, heart and spirit of conscious BDSM play.
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
Details at www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
Apply at www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html
Erotic Dominance Intensive for Professionals
August 15-17, 2008 at the SF Citadel
The techniques, fetishes and business of professional dominance.
Hands on Training! Class limited to 8!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
Details at http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/pros.html
Apply at http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-pros.html
Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
October 4-5, 2008 at the SF Citadel
Dominate with presence and passion, competence and compassion.
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
Details at www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
Apply at www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html
For updates go to: www.sm-arts.com/upcoming.html
