Hands-down, London has some the best fetish party weekends around. If you fancy yourself a fetishist, then consider it a duty to your passion to make pilgrimages to the many and varied pervy London weekends.
I’m writing to you live from London ¬ just as the humongo London Fetish
Weekend begins http://www.londonfetishweekend.com/
To survive these extended weekends, much less to thoroughly and debauchedly enjoy them, require preparation and strategy. So I offer you
The London Fetish Week Survival Guide for North Americans!
A FEW MONTHS BEFORE the big event, you need to start making some serious plans. By now you’ll know the theme for the main party. Make sure you’re on the mailing list, social net working sites, etc for the big events. Know the themes. Take the time to come up with several really cool outfits. Place your custom outfit orders with the perv wear designer of your preference now. You want to be early in their production line before the fetish high season rush swamps them later in the summer/fall. A month before the festivities is too late to order a new outfit.
Right now the dollar is really weak, so you’ll do better going through North American designers. Buying new togs in Euro or Pounds will really take a bite out of your wallet. These links are some of my favorites.
http://www.vexclothing.com/
http://www.fetishwear.net/
http://www.puimond.com/
http://www.northbound.com
http://www.ego-assassin.com/
http://www.syren.com/
http://www.polymorphe.com/
Prefer DIY? Then you should start putting it together and plan for the shipping early! Don’t forget to pack your glue gun with the converter/adaptor for UK.
Flights to London can be shockingly expensive. Many major on-line travel services have automated bargain notification features. You just put in the city desired and they’ll let you know when the prices drop.
http://www.travelocity.com
http://www.farecast.com/
WHAT TO WEAR? You can’t possibly get wild enough. Trust me on this one. North Americans often tend to error on the conservative or cliché side of fetish fashion. Don’t encourage this stereotype Go to the Skin Two and Torture Garden web sites or the party photo pages at http://www.thefetishsaloon.com
A lot of Londoners and Euro pervs are pretty fit. It’s all that walking and the cobblestones. But it’s not so much a body-beautiful youth-cult culture that some parts of the States can get. Got a hot bod and a boring outfit? You’re going to flop. They’d rather love and adore the imperfect body in the most outrageous outfits. In recent years I noticed several pretty young things with hot bods in sexy but tame fet wear glumly sulking around the edges. They watched with confusion the older, less then hard-bodied guys and gals get lavished in attention. Cute alone does not cut it here. You must have an outrageous sense of style, wit and a great smile.
http://www.torturegarden.com/
Make sure to pack the right shoes. Unless you aspire to be a wallflower, you’re going to be on your feet a lot. These parties are multi-roomed, multi-floored, maze like extravaganzas - all with stairs, many with cobblestone floors and no elevators. 6-inch stilettos might be sexy and fine for teetering through some small kink venue, but in London you’ll be exhausted long before the party ends. Try platforms, thick heels or wedges. Or do like Kumi does and go for cool flip-flops with latex outfits color coordinated to them.
Speaking of when the parties end: most of them go until 6am. If you get lucky you might end up invited to some hot after-party and after-after-party. Take care of your feet. Use those gel insoles or any other product to help your feet last longer. If you’re a dominant, look around for foot massage slaves. There are a lot of them there. Most parties have a coat check so consider wearing your outside’ shoes and then change into your party shoes.
A COUPLE MONTHS BEFORE
Have you checked in with your outfit designer?
By now the specific party details are shaping up, so check the event listings, and plan some more outfits. Pack a few extra outfits or be prepared to buy some new ones in London for that fabulous invite-only party that you just might get seduced to!
Think about where you want to stay. The hotels there are really expensive. Consider gathering friends and renting an entire flat or a house. It’s very cost effective and you’ll save loads with your own kitchen. That way it’s also easier to just get pervy or let all your sex toys lay about.
ONE MONTH OR LESS
Your outfits, because you’ll need multiple fabulousness to change into, should be ready or near to ready. If you have loads of stuff, think about shipping it over early. International travel allowance for luggage is smaller then for domestic travel, so watch the weight of your bags. Pre-schedule a massage or spa treatment for the day after you return from your trip. You’ll need it. Make sure that your cell phone works in London or think about getting a phone or local sim card once you get there. This will be vital for successful party-hopping.
Want to make some new friends or make some play dates? Start hanging out and posting on the local on-line boards. Let your desires be known.
http://www.londonfetishscene.com
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk
http://www.gingerbeer.co.uk/
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PRE-FLIGHT FINAL CHECK
Make sure to get plenty of rest before you leave. Stockpile on your sleep before and after the trip. If you want to make the most of the weekend, don’t plan on sleeping much while in London. Because traveling eastward is harder on our circadian rhythm, try to sleep on the plane. Sleep aid medication might be worth considering if you don’t sleep well on the flight. Don’t drink on the flight - it’s harder on the body. Save your drinking for the clubs. There’ll be a lot of it.
Speaking of drinking, if you plan to entertain at your lodging or go to private parties, get your favorite libation at the duty free shop in the North American side airports. The weaker Canadian and US $ will make it a better deal for you and you’ll be a good host or guest for that.
If you’re taking SM equipment with you, put them in your checked luggage, not your carry-on. Some toys might be confiscated, or get you detained by security. Check out the detailed advice in the traveling kinkster chapter in my most recent book ‘Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink’.
Is your passport in order? Your driver’s license will not suffice at the border. Believe it or not there have been Americans that have tried to go to the London Fetish Weekend and other similar parties and couldn’t leave the US because they didn’t know a passport was required, or discovered that their passport was expired. That was a very sad fetishist, left at the airport as their friends boarded the plane. If you have questions on your travel documents
US Citizens: http://www.state.gov/travel/
Canadian Citizens: http://www.ppt.gc.ca/
Just as important as your passport - the event tickets! Did you buy all the
tickets to all the events you want to go to? The tickets sell out early.
If your phone does not have international access or you want to save money (and look cool), get a local London cell phone number. You don’t have to get a new phone. You just have to get a pay-as-you go sim card from any of the British service providers. If have a tri-band or other cell phones with sim cards, make sure to get them unlocked’ by your service provider. Once you get to the UK if you don’t have it unlocked you’ll have to pay to have it done. Brits call cell phones ‘mobiles.’ Without a mobile it’s really hard to party hop and hook-up with people. If you’re an iPhone user like me, you might find getting a separate travel phone with changeable sim cards more convenient.
Having personal cards or business cards prepared is a must if you want to hook-up or network. Make a bunch with the name you’d like to known by, and any desired contact info (e mail, web address, FaceBook, MySpace, regular phone number, UK phone, etc.) Make sure you have room to write in your new UK mobile number if you don’t already have one.
Pack as few non-fetish clothes as possible. You’ll need the extra room for fet wear and you can always buy new clothes there. Make sure your non-fet clothes have good walking shoes. You’ll walk a lot in your daytime shopping trips.
IN LONDON
Pick up these publications. They’ll make your life easier. Get them in advance if at all possible.
• ‘London AZ’ Indispensable map for getting around London. London is
ginormous. You need this. Downloadable version available at
http://www.a-zmaps.co.uk/
• ‘Time Out’ magazine, London edition. Weekly magazine of just about
everything happening in London. Available at every newsstand. Pick one up at
the airport when you land and read on the way into town.
http://www.timeout.com/
• London Fetish Map: available at the various local fetish shops.
• Oyster Pass: The best way to get around London is the Tube and
buses. Get the pre-paid and pay-as-you-go Oyster card and never worry about
having exact change.
Plan to arrive a few days before the official kick off. Spend the days before going to the fet shops. It’s not just for shopping. This is where you’re going to run into other folks going to the same parties. Chat them up, socialize and make a good impression. They just might be the people to connect with at the parties or may be throwing their own parties. You might even run into famous fetish babes and notoratti. These fetish shops are great places to meet up with friends that you’ve made on-line at sites such as http://www.londonfetishscene.com
.
Here are some of my favorite places to shop, see and be seen.
Fettered Pleasures: http://www.fplondon.com
Coco de Mer: http://www.coco-de-mer.co.uk/
Zeitgeist: http://www.zeitgeist.co.uk/
Atsuko Kudo: http://www.atsukokudo.com/
Liberation: http://www.liberationlondon.com/
Torture Garden: http://www.tgclothing.com/
Coffee, Cake and Kink:
http://www.coffeecakeandkink.com/
House of Harlot: http://www.houseofharlot.com/
Many of the fetish wear designers create fabulous custom clothing - but don’t expect to show up on Wednesday and have an outfit ready for Saturday. If you want a custom piece made, you’ll need to schedule enough time to come in for several visits, as they’ll need to do a consultation, measurements, mock-up fitting and final fitting. If you don’t have the time for that, settle for off the peg (British for off-the-rack). Make sure to look in the sale bin as that’s often where hot stuff from recent fashion shows end up.
Speaking of shopping, don’t miss the vendor fairs such as Xpo and Skin Two Expo. Go early for the best scouting and leave plenty of time to flirt with the slew of sexy people that go there. Make sure to catch the art exhibition, demos and other special events. If you’re a bargain hunter, wait for the last few hours of the Expo. If the item you want is still there at the end, some vendors have been known to sell items at a discount so they don’t have to ship it home.
After the shopping, take your disco nap for a long night of partying. As I mentioned earlier, the parties go until 6 or 7 in the morning. Then you might get invited to after parties. Pace yourself. Compared to most of North American parties, the fetish dress code is stricter but municipal clothing laws are looser so women can show their breasts and nipples. So go for the wilder fashions!
Torture Garden, Subversion, Club Rub and other parties have dungeon areas. If and when they do have DM’s, which they don’t always, the spaces are run with different rules then in North America. Be accountable for your own scenes and don’t judge others and their play. Dungeon manners and etiquette you may take for granted doesn’t necessarily apply here. If someone walks into your scene or picks up your toys, don’t be surprised, but you are in your right to ask them to stop. The safest strategy is to have friends around to monitor and DM your scene space for you.
The use of party favors or various drugs, legal and illegal is more casual and common then in North America. Know who’s giving what to you. Don’t mix n match. We don’t want real medical scenes at the parties.
= = = =
So back to me now.
I was ready with my usual preparation. I’ve slept well for the last couple of days and slept on the 9+ hours flight from San Francisco to London. For the next few days the whole notion of sleep will be a figment of my addled mind.
The plane lands at 1:30pm. I race ahead of ambling amateur travelers to get ahead of the queue for immigration. Well-suited road warrior business types are neck-n-neck with me on this race. We all hate getting stuck in line there. Eventually I make it out the gauntlet that is the Heathrow experience and make it to my secret hide-away. It’s 3:30pm. I have just enough time to unpack, freshen up and get to my own party.
Yup, my own party.
My pal Kip and I throw an invitation-only private house party each year before the mad days of festivities begin. It’s the ‘Cotton Ball’, because it’s a -shirt and jeans kind of casual event with lots of food and booze. So many of our friends are behind-the-scenes folks who make the events, outfits, web sites, model, etc. During the official parties many of them are too busy to hang out and talk to people or relax. Usually the music’s really loud and the outfits are complicated enough that you just can’t have a good conversation. Some of our friends can’t make it to all the late night events either. So for the past several years we’ve thrown a hangout party in scandalous casual cotton. It’s been a big hit and it’s our beloved little kick-off to the weekend.
Because it’s a private party I can’t show faces in some of the photos. Sorry!
Oh here’s a funny bit of detail. Kip brought most of the food from the States with him ¬ all frozen in coolers in the checked bags. Big ol’ piece of honey glazed ham, dips, bacon wrapped scallops, blue cheese stuffed baked figs, cheeses, etc. With the outrageous cost of food in London, the crappy US $ and the hassle of food shopping in town makes this nutty strategy totally worth it.
The assembled crowd was varied and interesting: A photographer from New Zealand, a book agent, a school teacher, promoter of the big monthly fet party and his lovely model girlfriend, a scandalous circus performer,IT professional, a couple of lawyers, an infamous professional dominant, gorgeous models, publisher, a museum director, etc
Topics of conversation? Latest projects, travel, art, booze, family...the usual party conversation. Also prevalent topics were the morbid fascination with American politics and mocking Governor Sarah Palin. Conspicuously absent: posing and posturing, scene gossip and display of d/s attitudes.
Many of our party guests changed and left for the Fetishistas party hosted by Tony Mitchell at the fabulous new Resistance art gallery. www.theFetishistas.com
After we wrapped the party early, as planned, Kip, myself, Kumi and those remaining hopped a cab and trotted over as well. Unfortunately we missed the shows. I was told that the heavy rubber bondage show was spectacular. The crowd was elegantly dressed in fetish wear or elegant suits. The drinks flowed freely and the music was just enough to keep the hips swaying but not loud enough the squelch the conversation. It certainly was a movers and shakers party with prominent event promoter, well known models, erotic photographers and party promoters mingling, whispering and gently flirting the night away. Given that it’s the first official event of the weekend, many people opted to make it an early evening, some leaving as early as 2am, to save energy for the next few big days.
Now I’m pretty tired from all this writing and my bath is ready. Taking a bath is one of my personal party weekend survival tools.
Signing off from London.
Midori
