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Comments
Pretty good advice. More information on exactly how to
arrange a safe call would be helpful. And I disagree with
one so-called "red flag". You wrote "Does
he make excuses regarding participating in local group
munches or other events with other lifestylers?"
A LOT of people don't like these group affairs, for
very legitimate reasons. This is not something that should
by itself be considered alarming at all.
OK I'm seeing a problem with your safecall advice.
It may protect the sub or female participant in a meeting
to provide all the details for the guy to a safecall monitor
but I’m not entirely happy with the idea of a third party
having details they might choose to abuse.
I’d not have a problem with my details being on file with
a sub somewhere a third party could access them.
It’s overlooked by the author that the “stronger” party
can of times be the victim (in all sorts of ways from Blackmail
to stalkers) so does he suggest that to be fair that the “stronger”
party have all the details of the other party too? That would be fair, but would open “the weaker” party to
predation.
It’s very easy to give good advice to one party but this ignores
all the men who get screwed over from meeting a woman they
don’t know. Care and common sense have to be used on both sides.
On a side note it is quite easy to set up your cell/mobile
phone to send a pre-prepared text message with the touch
of a button while it is concealed inside a bag or pocket.
Worth remembering in case you ever land up in the clutches
of a heavy handed individual who isn’t allowing you the
opportunity to make a voice call.
Having “lifestyle” contacts who can act as a referee is
pretty good advice even if it does screw me over personally
as all mine are in the country I left, but it important these
referees are not all from easily invented “online” sources.
You need to be able to talk to these people on the phone.
Care, patience and common sense are you’re best protection.
All these one line responses pain me as they show a desire
to have a say, with very little though to the subject matter.
Doc
It IS great advice, worth reading and more than worth following,
because we all know that our own common sense can go out the
window when you have been wooed and cooed by Aphrodite/Adonis
and the excitment of actually being face to face with such
is clouding your brain. I have never met ( as yet ) anyone
from this site but I have from other places ( not BDSM ones
)and I think the safecalls are a MUST. The auto set texts,
I agree are good, but incase you maybe are not being allowed
to use the phone at all, another thing is to arrange to have
your friend phone you if it has gone say five minutes over
the due time but please, with that little gem >> make
sure that you are in an area that isn't a dead zone !so
check your signal strength before the other party shows
up. The advice is there for both >> the weaker and the
stronger...just because you think you are the dominant
one doesn't make you bullet proof and that's meant
both literally and figuratively. The world today is a harsh
place and harsher still for those that are classed by some
as ''different'' One thing I have done
is to get there ahead of the time and watch from a distance....that
in itself can show up a little red flag that hadn't been
seen before, taking nerves into consideration too of course,
but it can be a pointer to an attitude. I am new to this site
and also to the whole concept but so far I have found that
it could be a therapists nightmare >>> they would
be out of a job in minutes if their clients read some of the
posts in here... (( grins ))...the wellspring of knowledge
and life advice is amazing and the people I have spoken to
have been friendly, courteous, pleasant and polite.....
and good fun !!or maybe I have been lucky ??? but I still wish
I had joined years ago. So to all newbies ( advice to myself
as well )..>> have fun, make friends, never lose
heart that your match could be made.. but above all..>>
be safe !
I agree with Doc in France, too. I have met several who are
not in the local 'scene', and have been 'given
hell' by someone who is, for not playing only with those
in the local 'scene'. But, my instincts have served
me quite well. I do use safe calls and follow most of the advice
of the article, and also believe both sides should have
the info available.
Good advice Bill. I wonder if you were to run a poll what percentage
of listed people will be in each category: Domination,
kinky sex etc