I am new to the scene. I’m finally(!) single and don’t want another vanilla relationship. Instead, I want to explore my kinky side before I shuffle off or end up drooling in a nursing home.
I am intelligent and have a sharp wit (or possible a half-wit; it’s had to tell the difference sometimes).
My favourite forms of communication are sarcasm, puns and snarky humour.
I am open minded. If you have a particular kink or fantasy, I will listen non-judgementally. There’s a good chance I’ll indulge you so you can get off, even if it’s not something that personally turns me on.
I am not interested in the latest reality TV show. Give me a good science or history show, though…
I am mature enough to understand that men and woman can just be friends, so hit me up if all you want to do is chat. To be fair, though, I suck at the whole txt/IM thing.
I can see the humour in any situation.
I am punctual.
I am good with tech and computers.
I can open your jars for you.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
: someone kinky.
You’ll have to tolerate me.
You have to be intelligent. You don’t have to be a genius, but smarter than the average bear would be nice. Dumb as a brick won’t cut it, no matter how cute you are or your skills at giving a blow job.
You have to have a good sense of humour, the weirder the better. If you can’t take a joke, things are definitely not going to work out between us, because, let’s face it, I’m going to fuck things up occasionally.
You can’t take yourself too seriously. If you’re a princess, no judgment, but you’re not for me.
I’m fine with you not wearing make up and going au naturale; I prefer that, actually. If you feel you’re above getting your hands dirty, literally or figuratively, please move along, nothing to see here.
Bonus points for being a nerd/geek.
I am not looking for a door mat. I want your opinion and thoughts on things.
You can have your own friends and talk to anyone you like. If I can’t trust you to be faithful, there’s no point in being in a relationship with you. If you do want to fuck someone else, talk to me. Personally, I’d love to see you fuck another woman — yes, a predictable male fantasy, I know, but there you go.
I’m not interest in being submissive, so if you’re a switch, I’m likely to be fine with you having your own sub. I’ll probably want us to play with them together.
Don’t expect that we’re going to get married or move in together without getting to know each other pretty well first.
I’m not a sugar daddy. You need to have your own form of income. I don’t want to control your finances nor have access to them.
Feel free to send nudes
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