I know who I am and what being a born submissive means. Unfortunately there are too many males who believe they are the "Real Deal"..a true Dominant..but once he has convinced you and you begin to trust and start believing...your head and heart are brainwashed into believing that obeying is your only choice. He takes and takes...financially, emotionally, physically all the while becoming more and more distant...more critical...and the born submissive keeps trying....keeps giving...believing in her heart..."maybe this time she will truly please him"...But it never will happen....because he has already "moved on" and is just keeping you around for the financial help...or cooking....or how you can handle problems placed before you....or maybe he just keeps you around to verbally, mentally,
and physically abuse because you have become nothing more than "trash" he is getting ready to throw away. In the vanilla world a woman would see this type of man and who he is...."a mile away". In the D/s lifestyle he defends his narcissistic behaviour as "being Dominant" and that she obviously is a fake if she dares to question. If only there were more "true Dominants" like there once was...Men who knew how trusting, naive, and desiring to please...a submissive/slave truly is...and felt obligated to look out for these "ones who were still new....still learning...and most of all...soo vulnerable to the growing number of wannabees and players who haven't a caring bone in their bodies for anyone other than themselves. I learned the hard way yet for all the bad that was done....
I have chosen to remember that at least for a short while I was happy and that I have matured and grown as a submissive...no matter what. If my words cause even just one "so called Dominant" to take a step back and look at himself through the eyes of his submissive...then maybe the bond can once again be renewed and begin to grow so that the two will grow to be as One.
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My Ideal Person:
I hope to find the man/male/Dominant... who knows that only a born submissive will ever meet his desires...fully understanding my burning need to please him.....a Dominant who can tame my wildness with that balance of discipline and patience knowing sometimes all it takes is not reaching for a whip or flogger... but realizing I need the trust to deepen and more control..taken ...so that I can once more breathe calm deep breaths...there at his feet...his property...his slave....his slut...his whore... firm in his discipline so that mistakes will not readily be repeated... That his eyes see who I am...and also.. what I am evolving to be under his guidance. I hope he loves music and dogs...enjoys nature...and no matter how vanilla the situation...when I need reined in...softly spoken words, or meeting his eyes...will remind me that to obey is my only choice.
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